Tuesday, September 27, 2011
So far this semester, my students missed class because:
9. Her brother's wedding, which apparently lasts all week.
8. A child custody court date. His ex is a bitch who uses drugs and he loves his daughter and really wants to do well in my class but he wants custody at that point I said ok just leave my office.
7. An appointment with a shrink.
6. The mighty flood of twenty eleven! A broken pipe left an inch of water on her floor right before class. She and her friends cleaned up and repaired the broken pipe themselves! Thus, there was no repair bill from the plumber or documentation of any kind. As the Church Lady would say, "How convenient!"
5. Some undisclosed physical ailment, simply explained as being really gross.
4. An emergency apendecronologene therapy session removal transplant. Or some such big long doctor-sounding word that he probably made up.
3. A hockey game. Sure, we excuse participation in athletic events. By the way, when did our school get a hockey team? Oh, you are going to see a local hockey team play. Well then, go puck yourself.
2. A major religious holiday which you enjoyed with your family back in your home country rather than show up for the first two weeks of classes. That’s way too much time to be gone from class, even if you are spending your days fasting and worshiping. On second thought, as an international student, you pay the special 140% tuition rate compared to a US student. You’re prayers have been answered! Get your homework to me by next Friday. Don’t let anybody ever tell you that I’m culturally insensitive.
1. Oversleeping his alarm because he stayed up late Monday night to study and missed Tuesday’s class. I don’t teach class on Tuesday but thatnks for stopping by. I’ll mark you absent anyway because stupidity should not go unpunished.