Friday, September 9, 2011

A Friday Morning Thirsty on Entitlement!

Morning Thirsty!
Q:  What was the worst case of entitled behaviour you have ever witnessed?

A:  Share 'yer mizry!

20 comments:

  1. Worst case actually came from a parent who called me to give me her credit card number so I could trundle over to the bookstore to buy her precious child's books FOR her because her precious child didn't feel like going out in the hot sun. I politely declined, but I kept the credit card number just in case I ever need to commit fraud (kidding).

    Next worse case was a student who expected me to change when and where a general ed class of 35 students met because he didn't want to wake up before 11 a.m. and have to walk across campus for class on a Tuesday. He wanted me to look up every single student's schedule to find a time that would fit their schedules that met HIS approval. He stopped by my office, emailed, and called me at least 12 times before I told him if he didn't quit, I'd consider it harassment.

    Other acts of entitlement have included the usual astonishment that I expect them to have their own books and supplies, don't accept late work by holding them to a deadline or that I don't accept their clearly made-up excuse for why they missed a test or deadline, but those two stand out in my mind right now as the worst cases. They also include expecting me to answer their emails immediately (even when I'm clearly in class if they bother to look at my schedule), and one student followed me home and stood outside waiting for me to grade his essay so he could know the grade before I even entered it into our LMS.

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  2. Oh, I thought of another one. A student expected me to give him feedback on his personal statement while I was attending my best friend's wedding. "You'll just be sitting there bored, so you can just look it over then," he responded when I said I would have to give a toast and make sure everything was running smoothly so the bride and groom could relax.

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  3. The absolute worst was a grandmother in her late 40s (she was the student, just to make this clear).

    First of all, her group hated her and threw her out because she was never in class on time, never did any of the work, and was always interrupting me during lecture and them when I told her to sit down trying to catch up on what she missed. I gave her the option to work alone and she took it.

    She'd walk in late, make a scene, and then stand in front of me to ask me questions (it was a computer lab and the teacher computer was in the back so I could watch all the screens). No matter how many times she was told to sit down, she would STILL do it the next time and tell me it was quick. It never was. Also, we talked about this behavior after class and with the Dean and she continued to think that whatever she had was more important.

    But it was when I made a mistake in her favor in Blackboard that all hell broke lose. If mistakes in the students' favor aren't HUGE I leave them. That's my bad, congrats, have some extra points.

    I left those points (on an assignment she had skipped, sigh) and put them also on another assignment. I mean, it was still an F on BOTH but it wasn't a zero. So.

    Rather than asking what the deal was or even having listened the first day when I told the class mistakes in their favor would be left, she started sending me passive aggressive notes in my homework pile. She would print off blackboard and highlight where the mistake was. I sent her back a very professional looking letter explaining the issue (it was a prof writing class).

    She continued this 3 more times, each time requesting that those points be put elsewhere (not where they belonged, of course). I explained it to her in person and she seemed to understand, but then I'd get another note.

    Finally I just gave up and took the credit away. FINE, I thought, IF YOU WANT TO FAIL DO SO. I DON'T CARE.

    She reported me to the Dean.

    She stood there in the Dean's office going over very slowly, as if to a child, where she thought the points should go. She was wrong. I showed the Dean the error, my policy, and how originally she had actually gotten bonus points by my policy. I don't screw up often but I'm fine with it when I do. Now she wanted credit for three assignments because I had given her extra points somehow, and she only had credit for one.

    Thankfully, the Dean backed me up.

    Then, on the last day of school we had a final. It is school policy to stay in the room until the end of the period, even if all the students are gone.

    She came two hours late. Everyone was gone. I had to give her the final. I had all the other grades done.

    I submitted her grade.

    She challenged it over half a point out of 1000. I hope that D was worth it to her.

    I gave up. *sigh*

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  4. Why, just the other day a student missed a quiz at the beginning of class because he was looking for our classroom in another building. (It was not there.) I told him not to worry since a single quiz won't amount to much once all the other grades are factored in. This did not pacify him. When I failed to enter into a negotiation with him regarding his missed quiz, he pulled out the big guns. He had "the right" to take the quiz.

    At work, I'm very professional and mild-mannered. I'm cultivating this persona because someday, I plan to tell the student "Go fuck yourself." Nobody would believe him that I did that, not nice ol' Dr. B. I almost cashed that one in.

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  5. Two stand out after a decade:

    1) The traditional-aged student at the fancy SLAC where I taught who submitted multiple drafts that I painstakingly went over with her, whined and plead for deadline extensions which I (a novice teacher) granted her, and then filled out in my evaluation, "She should be stricter about deadlines."

    2) The returning student at my R1 who came to my office to try to bully me out of the F that I gave her paper. She said, "You have no right do do this!" I replied, pleasantly enough, that it was, in fact, my job to evaluate work produced for the class, and that this piece had not been passing work. She said, "I've raised two children! You're not failing me!" I said, as graciously as I could, that while she was undoubtedly a great mom who could teach me a lot in that arena, in this particular case I had the expertise. She said, "What gives you the expertise?" I said that I had earned a Ph.D. in the field. She began to mock me in a sing-song voice: "I have a Ph.D.! I have a Ph.D! What a stuck-up little bitch!" At which point I rose and walked toward her, asking her to leave until she backed out of my office. All of this occurred in front of a line of students waiting to see me. I asked them to wait just a minute, called the student's advisor, and said that I never wanted her in my office again. When the next student came in, I was still shaking.

    I still hate them both.

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  6. The student - any student - who prefaces a request/demand with "I paid for this class, I have a right to (X)". I've had a couple of those. The answer is always, well, no, your tuition give you the chance to get an education. I suggest you take it.

    F&T, that's appalling. That is seriously unbalanced behaviour (# 2). And there you are, with a lineup of students still waiting to see you as you try to calm down.

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  7. STUDENT: Could you write me a recommendation letter for this scholarship/internship/something?

    ME: Sure.

    STUDENT: Thanks. Uh, see, the thing is, it's due pretty soon.

    ME: Well...

    STUDENT: Do you have access to a fax machine?

    ME: Yes, but...

    STUDENT: Because it's due by 5:00 this afternoon. Thanks!

    This conversation took place around 3:00 PM.

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  8. Back in the day a bunch of us grad students at a party were talking about politics, jobs, etc. and one said, "When I'm done with my MS in chemistry, I have a right to a job in chemistry." She went on to argue that the state should guarantee everyone with a degree in a field a job in that field. Strelnikov probably would have understood her quite well.

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  9. Y'all are blowing my mind. I've had my share but most of my cases seem pretty regular compared to yours.

    There was this woman I had to kick out of my class for screaming at me, but she needed to be medicated. I'm not sure that counts.

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  10. @My Little Proffie:
    I have a colleague (former colleague I think, now) who reminds me a lot of your story. This person decided that the first round of PhD exams was stupid and beneath her and she shouldn't have to do them--so she failed them. On purpose. Refused to study or anything. And was utterly unapologetic about it. I haven't seen her in awhile, so my guess is she failed them on her second go-round, also, and thus found herself out of the program.

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  11. @F&T: I'm very impressed with your quick, factual answers to #2, and may she rot in hell.

    I haven't had anyone as bad as the worst in this thread, but two come to mind, both young women:

    Neediest Nancy complained to me and about me from Day One -- in front of the class and to the dept. chair. (I was new and under fire for being pregnant, so didn't call her on this immediately as I should have.) She complained that the textbook chapters were not assigned in the same order as the table of contents. She complained that I expected her to read those chapters before I'd answer her questions about basic vocabulary in them. She complained that I took a day off when my young son broke his arm. Finally, she complained that my grade of "F" on her paper was insulting, even though the paper clearly fit the "F" columns on the rubric. She still makes me growl.

    Drama Queen Delilah enrolled in Introductory Hamster Fur Weaving even though her church taught that Fur Weaving didn't exist; it's a fraud perpetrated by godless liberal commies. Every time I mentioned fur or weaving, she'd roll her eyes or ask, sotto voce, whether I really expected them to believe that. Far later than I should have, I presented her with a Disruptive Behavior report as a warning, saying that I'd turn it in if she showed disrespect one more time. Then the tears came, along with TMI about a recent burglary and how her mother was all stressed out and . . . huh?

    Okay, how is this about entitlement? After weeks of inviting students to my office hour for help with assignments, I was setting up materials for an demonstration five minutes before class. Queen Delilah stood between me and the fossilcastsImeanfur, held out the homework that was due in five minutes, and demanded that I help her with it. I said that the time and place for that was my office hour, and that right now I needed to prepare for class.

    "Oh? Excuse me. I thought *I* was in your class."

    "Yes, and so are 34 others, and they expect class to start on time."

    She actually stomped away.

    A few years later, she tried to friend me on Facebook with the message, "Remember me?!" Lord, did I. Never have I been so happy to ignore someone.

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  12. Oh! I remember another.
    This one was a young man who was enrolled in an advanced writing course with a service learning component in the writing center.

    Since I had to train him (and them all) as tutors, they got to hear a lot of the problems we face--such as students blaming us for their plagiarism and problems.

    So this kid was creepy. Really creepy. I paired him with one of the good kids so that he wouldn't freak out the people coming in for tutoring. His assignments sucked.

    Their final paper was to research an issue from writing tutoring in depth. He chose plagiarism.

    And plagiarized it.

    And then challenged his F.

    And then said that his own tutor (a graduate student) had shown him how to plagiarize it and done it for him (fat chance).

    Because of the structure of the school, we had to prove him wrong.

    Then he told me I better not go to *insert hospital here* because his dad was a doctor there and someday he would be too.

    Fabulous.

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  13. Back at Crusty Rock CC [my first community college], I mentioned to this jock-type that I was taking Spanish and the lunk could only say "Yanno, everybody else should learn English so we don't have to learn their crappy languages."

    I wanted to soak the fucker in napalm and flick a Bic.

    ****

    I've seen `em whine, I've seen them bitch, but the self-serving BS of that roided-out sleaze sticks with me.

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  14. With all this talk about entitled behavior, do you think non-trads pull out more "entitled behavior" than our 18 year olds? Should the focus of research shift, perhaps???

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  15. @CC - I don't have that impression. I have a lot of experience with non-trads and have encountered problems with writing, preparedness, lack of curiosity, ignorance, ideology, etc. But I have encountered very few of the kinds of problems being talked about here and certainly no helicopter parents clearing all their obstacles away. On the contrary. Some carry enormous burdens and have too much pride to complain or ask for help.

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  16. @CC when my itinerant adjuncting began in earnest, I was simultaneously teaching online for both a traditional and non-trad program.

    Initially, I saw the gamut of flaky goodness with my 18 year-olds, but the vast majority of my non-trads, were as AdjSlv described.

    That has changed over the past few years though. I still get a few non-trads who are sincerely grateful for feedback and actually use it in subsequent work. But, there has been a palpable sea change whereby more and more of my non-trads are dusting up with a "I've always gotten As" defense.

    My "favorite" was the one who claimed to have nearly completed a degree having never needed to use the library.

    In my current crop of classes, one answered the question "What helps your learning?" by explaining that feedback is appreciated so that assignments can be revised until the desired grade is achieved.

    ::sigh::

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  17. I think I've already shared many of my best ones with you since we started this little endeavor together, but here are a few more:

    1. The 18-year-old who came from one of our most prestigious high schools and thought he was going to tell me how to teach my class. As an incentive to be on time, the students got a bonus point on a group activity if everyone was there at the start of class. He never came on time and told me I was not allowed to penalize his group. He also told me he was never going to be on time because he didn't consider attendance important anyway. (It's mandatory at my CC.) He ended up dropping the class after a phone conversation in which he insisted I call him at a set time and then hung up on me because he was hung over and said he was "too busy" to talk.

    2. The older, deer-in-the-headlights student who wanted me to read every single thing before she turned it in, including the daily paragraph assignments. She was very angry when I informed her that while I'd be glad to answer questions, I did writing conferences only for major assignments.

    3. Anyone who prefaces a conversation with the statement, "I don't agree with the grade you gave me" automatically moves to the entitlement dungeon.

    4. "But you didn't tell us that" Betty has a special place in the entitlement dungeon because she thought that if I didn't specifically review something in lecture or group discussion, that meant it could not be on the test even though they were assigned to read it. I spent weeks of enduring "You're not fair" comments, eye rolls, and heavy sighs. After a research conference in which I pointed out her mistakes for 30 minutes, she refused to fix any of them and turned the paper in exactly as it was. Then I was "not fair" for not giving her the A she so obviously deserved. She wanted to be a teacher. I hope she gets back everything she gave in spades.

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  18. My most memorable experience was teaching an intro stats course that met once a week for 14 weeks. I had one student who told me that she would miss a week of classes due to a vacation she scheduled prior to the start of the semester.
    She also missed and additional meeting of the class, hence, she violated the syllabus policy of 1 allowable absence.
    In this class, I gave a take home final exam. Her final exam was a disaster-she received a 50 on the final a a semester grade of D.
    She was not happy with her grade-her employer paid for the tuition with the proviso that a grade lower than C would result in the tuition being clawed back from her pay. She said to me and my chair she wanted either a C or a withdrawal from the course with her tuition refunded. This got a big laugh from both of us.
    She filed a grievance in accordance with college policy. She cited, as cause, my lack of credentials as a teacher (I don't have a teaching license for secondary schools in NY state). This also drew a laugh-I've got a graduate degree from an Ivy League school and worked in the field for years as a statistician.
    I must say that the grievance hearing was very amusing, listening to her make a fool of her self. It was worth the aggravation. BTW, she lost.

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  19. My worst case was just last semester. A student in my intro class had basically missed the first month, including the first exam. She finally came to me just before the second exam with her doctors' excuses for her extended illness. I accepted the excuses and she assured me that she had kept up wither her studying and would be ready to take the test with the class. I bought her story so much that I even OFFERED her an extension for test 2. In the end, she did not show up for the test. Later, her father called wanting details of her grades. This was my first parent call, so I sought help from that office on campus just for parent issues. They recognized the name and then, after checking, told me that the excuses had been entirely falsified. I thought the matter was done because I never heard from the student again. But after she missed the third exam, she wanted to take make-ups for all three! When I refused, she and her father proceeded to call everyone from me to God with their tale of woe, leaving out the part about the forgery. They believed her story that I was a big ole meanie who didn't like her until, one by one, they found out the truth. In the end, they sided with me, but it was a semester long time suck and I still shiver when I think about her.

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  20. There are two incidents that immediately come to mind. The first, was when I was taking a washroom break between classes. In the last class I had just handed back an assignment. While I was in the bathroom stall a student knocked and asked: "Professor, I would like to discuss the mark you gave me on my assignment because I don't agree with it."

    The second incident was when I was walking my dog in a popular wooded area among many dog people. A student who was also out walking his dog approached me and was obviously quite upset that I had a life outside of the classroom. He remarked: "Shouldn't you be in your office marking our exams?"

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