Fredo is quick. Quick to annoy, quick to piss me off.
He acts like we're friends, spends time at the start and end of class standing by my desk and chatting about inane things like what he's going to do later, and what I was going to do on the weekend.
He's always looking for the comedy in every situation, every reading. He likes to say, "Man, you just gotta laugh."
And he has made a joke about me. Now, let me be clear, as a fat guy, I've poked gentle fun at my love of eating once or twice in class. But that's not the same as a 19 year old student saying, "Hey, there's a pizza truck missing out in Purvis; was it you, Dr. Harold?"
The other students don't know what to do, but I think they're warming up to him. I'd toss him back if I could.
Q: Of your new, freshly scrubbed students? Which one would you like to give back, boot out, send to another classroom, and why?
I'd like to toss back Obtuse Ollie who constantly interrupts me with semi-literate comments barely tangentially related to the concepts I'm discussing. While his classmates collectively roll their eyes he blathers on cluelessly. It's simultaneously incredibly irritating and sad. This poor kid was ill-equipped for college when admitted and has been shuffled through the pipeline in a notoriously unchallenging major. In a semester or two I'll be doing my required duty sitting in regalia in a cramped auditorium cringing as this kid smiles and accepts his diploma while his relatives donned in incredibly inappropriate attire whoop and scream punctuating the fraudulent affair.
ReplyDeleteto Funnyman Fredo: Personal insults, including jokes denigrating the intelligence or appearance of specific individuals in class, are not acceptable and will not be tolerated. Any students making such comments will be ejected from that class. Two or more such remarks and you will be deregistered. (copy to your chair.)
ReplyDeleteThat's not acceptable in any way.
@Frankity: what does the poor girl's physical appearance have to do with her problems in your class? Your callous mention of her physical infirmities make you sound like a cad, and I'm afraid I lost sympathy with your plight as a result.
ReplyDelete@Surly,
ReplyDeleteThere's nothing wrong with her appearance, actually. I was being a exaggerating cad for effect. She signed up for a class that she doesn't have the pre-requisites for. I had her in a previous semester in a lower level class, and she failed. She's taken every incarnation of the lowest level classes without success. In my experience, she had sporadic attendance and still takes no notes. Never showed up for office hours or tutoring last year. Didn't understand the first, oh-so-very-basic homework assignment that was modeled in class, demonstrated on the board, and example done together, questions asked, directions reposted on electronic message board, and everyone else gets it. I demonstrated her writing skill through that email. This is a paragraph-to-essay writing course. She isn't even functioning at the sentential level. And so when I strongly advise her to drop the class, she hasn't met the prerequisites, and she doesn't listen... I vent. I exaggerate. I paint a picture that is less than pleasant. It's dark and it's off. I realize that. She's falling apart at the seams academically. Alas, I removed the post, before anyone shows up with blazing pitchforks.
And I guess I don't really have a plight. She dropped last week, and is begging for a code to reinstate. She isn't getting it, because she is in the wrong class, and I don't want to set her up for failure. This comment isn't as funny as my other one was, but this time, I didn't offend Surly!
Yeah, there's nothing quite so wonderful as making fun of someone's infirmities. I bet it was a real scream!
ReplyDeleteThat's the thing, THERE AREN'T ANY INFIRMITIES. Breathe.
ReplyDeleteHey, man, I love a good student smackdown. And I really sympathize with all the problems you had with the student; I've been there. But when you mentioned that she had "one eye" and "stumps" it just sounded odd and a little mean. It didn't offend me, it just made me wonder about you. Chalk it up to the difficulty of conveying tone on a blog post. Peace.
ReplyDeleteIs it my imagination or did this thread get hijacked?
ReplyDeleteANYway, Merely is right: Harold should confront Fredo ASAP. At our CC, one disruption like that is cause for dismissal from class and suspension from the next class meeting, and we're supposed to send a form to the Dean of Few Consequences (thanks, Frog and Toad) so she/he can follow up.
As for your Thirsty, I'd like to drop-kick -- no, I mean drop -- Needy Nick. So far, Nick has sent me a 500-word email with a long song and dance about his family and, buried deep within, a request to leave my class early to see if he could add a different one instead, but still keep mine if he doesn't get in. He followed this up with repeated knocking on my office door during my 15-minute break between classes. I sure hope he gets that other class.