Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Why?


Why no complaints
about font size?

Have we given up?

Just let Fake Gordon Presto
ruin our eyes with misty backgrounds,
half gray fonts,
e'er changing headers?

Can't we pick on him personally?
Can't we assume he's a silverback?
Or a bitter adjunct?
Can't we call him fat?
Can't we tell him that this IS the NFL?

Where do I go to make my complaints about him,
the page, the idea of CM?

Sure, I can bitch about my students and colleagues.

But that gets done already.

I long for the days when our bile
was spent on Leslie K, Fabsun, even Compounds
Cash, Cal, Chronos and the rest.

I'd like to know where I can find fault with the ads,
those zillion dollar Amazon things, the jillion dollar AdWords.

I want to know why I can't make my avatar larger.
And why can't I bloody well hell put it on the left margin,
if I think that's what people want to see first?

Can I pick on some rules?
Can I tell your glossary is as thin as your balding head,
Gordon?

Prof. Presto?

I'd make fun of that name,
but it's tough going around
called Dick all day.

Avaunt.




6 comments:

  1. Avaunt, indeed!

    Love it, Richard...very funny and very subtle. Or is not subtle. I got that word wrong on my SATs.

    XOXO
    Darla

    PS: If you don't like the XOXO, as some of you seem determined to note every time I use it, why don't you go fuck yourself.

    PPS: Hubby would say it meaner, but that's all I've got.

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  2. Having been terrorized by a Greek tutor bearing gifts of grammar in our youth, we read your sign-off as "hohoho"—rather cheerful and Santa-like, we must say. A bit of jolliness and Greekatude is rather welcome on this site, is it not?

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  3. Or we could complain about the new little row of icons under each post. No harm in them really, I realize, and they are a handy way to share things and bring in new readers, but one some level it feels to me like they have some connection to the trophies-for-all everybody's-an-audience culture that we complain has ruined our students.

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  4. I don't have a little row of icons. I've been robbed. Where are my icons?

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  5. Wonderful!

    This is as good a place as any to apologize to Gordon for starting a comment with "Dammit, Presto!" I meant it jocularly, but said it on a day the trolls shat. Did anyone else notice that for a while after that, the Amazon ads featured a Presto pressure cooker?

    ReplyDelete

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