Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Daniel from Dubuque Is Dumb, Or At Least His Students Think So.

Oh, I should be doing something more useful right now than venting, but the way my students act, behave, move around in public, just horrifies me.

This is such a minor thing, but as this semester has careened around so many weird obstacles, it's had the effect of some kind of last straw.

My office is on the 3rd floor of a lovely and new classroom building, and most of my classes are on the first floor, so I'm in and around the building, and up and down the stairs all day.There is a giant drink machine in the lobby stocked with water, Gatorade, soda, etc.

Occasionally I'll go down the stairs to get a drink, just to break up grading, cobwebby office hours, etc.

Today I see a couple of students standing in the lobby and I wave to them as I go to the machine. In my pocket is a bunch of coins. I have tons of change in my car and at home, and love getting rid of it. So I'm pumping nickels and dimes into this big beast to get to the perfectly reasonable price of $2 for some sugary water, and my students come over.

One of them is staring at me oddly, and the other is watching my right hand.

"Hey, Dr. D. What are you doing? This machine takes credit cards."

He's right, and I say, "Yeah, change, too."

The other student says, "You CARRY around all that change?" And then they both laugh like it's sheer insanity they're watching.

"Like, you just zap your card in there, in the SLOT, and you pick whatever you want."

My drink crunches to the opening and I pull it out. "Yeah," I said. "I know it takes a card. But I'm getting rid of some change."

"I would NEVER keep that much change. It'd just slow me down," one of them says. "I thought professors made a lot of money." And they both sorta shake their heads at me.

"I make good money," I say. "But it's not a big deal for me to put some coins in that for a cool drink. You know? You want to swipe your card, go right ahead."

I thought we were done.

"Anyway, hey, Dr. D., are you going to your office? I wanted to pick up my project from last week."

"Sure," I say to the student, and I start walking toward the same set of stairs I'd come down.

"Whoa, wait. Dr. D, what are you doing? Don't you know they have ELEVATORS over there?"

- Dr. Daniel

6 comments:

  1. you people can't even keep up your own illusion that anyone is reading the page.

    it's good to see you going down after your gallant run.

    the way you trivialize students and hard working faculty has always made me sick.

    I've been monitoring your stat counter in the bottom right and you've only had 14 hits in the past 24 hours.

    say goodnight, you twisted little fucks. (both of you)

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  2. Anon., GET READY FOR A FOOTBALL.... TO BE RAMMED UP YOUR ASS.

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  3. Wow, you take Bocephus' hot contract away and he is left with nothing but more twaddle... (Yo, if you actually read the page, you'd know there are FOUR of us, all hunkered down in a corner at Miami OH...)

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  4. And here I feel guilty when I *don't* take the stairs to my upper-floor office (and a lot of our students use the stairs, too, but that's probably because the elevator is slow, and sometimes makes alarming noises).

    The equivalent issue on our campus is the use of buttons that activate automatic door-openers for the handicapped. Many students seem to consider pushing this button the standard way to open the door (maybe because moms with strollers use them, too?) and the buttons are wearing out way quicker than the building designers estimated they would, necessitating costly repairs. . . .

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  5. Dr. Daniel, those students remind me of the space ship passengers in Wall-E, who no longer could walk and believed the Buy & Large marketing slogan "Blue is the new red!"

    A few years ago, I had to take the elevator due to an injury. So many apparently able-bodied students crowded into it that it was hard to fit the crutches and wheelchairs. WTF?

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