When I logged on to my school email address this morning, Gloria's name appeared in a note from the registrar's office as a "drop."
When I called over to the office I was told she had been suspended pending a disciplinary hearing regarding a drug charge.
I feel absolutely destroyed.
I appreciated all the comments people left on my weekend posting about this. My heart is broken.
I'm sorry to hear it, both for Gloria's sake and for yours. It can be painful when someone you like gets in trouble like this.
ReplyDeleteStellafromSparksburg apparently has a pretty good radar for this sort of thing; she suggested that Gloria might have a drug problem. I can't claim any such prescience. I was simply concerned that you were spending so much additional time on one student.
Anyway, I hope that Gloria can get herself back on track sometime soon.
So sorry to hear this. I've known lots of students just like Gloria, and it really is devastating when this happens.
ReplyDeleteIf you're at a SLAC and you've not done it already, this might be a good time to make a cheat sheet of uni resources for students. I have one of these for each of the places where I teach. None of them are SLACs because I'm not smart enough to teach at one, but still...having it available to press on students at relevant times has saved me a lot of anguish. I'm sorry this happened.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry. I hope she takes this opportunity to consider her life and make some changes. Better up on charges than OD'd.
ReplyDeleteIt's always hard to see someone with real potential waste it.
(post-script)--I qualified that with "if you're at a SLAC" because my colleagues tell me that even refering students to services is "caring too much," which I think is bullshit. These referals let me sleep at night.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry. I wasn't supportive of how you'd decided to treat her, and that's partly because --I'm sad to say -- many of the scams, etc. that I saw going on with brilliant but erratic students were a result of the fairly serious heroin problem going around my SLAC (not that I could have called this one, either). But I've had my heart broken several different times in this particular way. I hope that Gloria makes it.
ReplyDeleteI hope that Gloria gets the help she needs to get back on track, and I sympathize with her struggle. If I may offer an alternative viewpoint, this suspension may have been in Gloria's best interest.
ReplyDeleteSometimes a big and painful consequence can force the self-examination necessary to change bad habits. I know that it's hard to watch a young person go through something like this, but what did she have to gain from being enabled in her destructive habits by people impressed by her intellectual brilliance? As a previous poster pointed out, better this than an overdose.
You can't help someone with a drug problem. That's not your job. And going easier on them just prolongs things. Because addicts can't be expected to behave reasonably. They will do anything to hide/support their habit.
ReplyDeleteStudents with drug problems need rehab. And even then it's a very iffy thing, because if they're just going there to avoid jail, they're going to relapse. They need to help themselves.
This sounds harsh but it's the truth--and I will tell you as well that if Gloria perceives you as a soft touch, and she's an addict, she will use you, either to get you to believe her stories and go easy on her (which she already has), or, in a worst-case scenario, as a source of drug money.
There are no accommodations plans for addicts. They have to get clean and stay that way.
I'm sorry to hear this. It's never fun to see a promising mind circling the drain. I hope she's able to pull herself up and out.
ReplyDeleteI'd also second Hound's idea, having run across similar issues in my adjunct days. When students come to me with problems I can't solve, I like to be able to point them in a direction that may help them.
Good luck, Darla--and don't let this get you too down. You have lots of other students still counting on you to lead the way.
Darla, I'm sorry. I'll echo everyone else here in saying I hope Gloria gets the help she'll need. Take care of yourself. You can love them and teach them, but you can't save them. Like learning, the saving part they have to do for themselves.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, and I speak from experience, while this experience IS REALLY PAINFUL for Darla and her student, the drug charges can frequently bring attention and badly needed resourses into play that can lead into rehab and counseling for the student, especially if this is her first time in trouble. While this sucks, it can be a huge turning point!
ReplyDeletePersonally I think this girl is doomed because of that forthcoming disciplary hearing; they won't look kindly at her possible addiction to Horse or whatever crap she was on (if she was on any crap at all.) In many cases it seems that "justice" in the disciplinary or grievance hearing is avoiding the "hanging" or incompetent panels by sheer luck; and remember, at many schools there is no real way to appeal a verdict. And God help her if that Captain Queeg of a room-mate is called in for the "prosecution."
ReplyDeleteCertainly she needs to get off the drugs or get her act together, but I don't know if she will finish college at Darla's school.
I'm sorry, Darla. That's hard. But at least, as others have pointed out, the disciplinary action may give her a chance to get back on track before she runs irretrievably off the rails. My sophomore year in college was marked by a dorm-mate dropping dead on a nearby street corner; the immediate cause of death was a heart attack, the underlying cause cocaine. He was brilliant too, and quite personable, and got no second chance. If your college manages to help her have one, even if it's at another school, that strikes me as a success.
ReplyDeleteI hope this helps your student. We are required to keep a list of resources for students and refer them to the appropriate office if we suspect anything is amiss. It might do your heart a little good to have such a list, as HoundoftheBasketballs suggested, just in case. My school does it in part to avoid liability issues because they don't want faculty attempting to do any sort of crisis counseling or accommodations. They leave it to the professionals.
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