Inflexible English Prof Ruins 'Game of the Century'
Sophomore RB Spencer Ware of LSU evades a tackler as smoothly as he evaded a 4 page analysis of Karl Marx that was due last week in his Poli Sci class. |
TUSCALOOSA, Ala. – The "Game of the Century" had no touchdowns, but it had a very happy ending for LSU. Drew Alleman kicked a 25-yard field goal in overtime to send the #1 ranked Tigers past the #2 Crimson Tide.
Yet, most observers wonder if things might have been different had Alabama English professor Marshall Winston not assigned such a long and complicated essay assignment to his students, including sophomore field goal kicker Reggie Utrecht.
Yet, most observers wonder if things might have been different had Alabama English professor Marshall Winston not assigned such a long and complicated essay assignment to his students, including sophomore field goal kicker Reggie Utrecht.
"Usually we just do assignments in class, 250 words on some old poem. But this week we had to type the thing and include a bibliography," Utretch told reporters from his dorm in Bryant Hall.
It was two of Utrecht's replacements, Cade Foster and Jeremy Shelly, who missed 4 out of 6 field goal attempts, that sunk the Tide's chances at becoming the top ranked team in the nation. "I take English, too," Foster said. "But I've got some sorority candy who does my papers."
Coach Nick Saban said after the game, "Listen, I know some of my players take classes, but I never wanted them to be fanatics about it. With Utrech in the game, our chances would have been much higher. What that kid needs to know about William Wordsworth is beyond me. I just hope that Trent [Richardson, the Bama tailback] gets his damn lab projects turned in before we have to go play Mississippi State next week."
A thing of beauty.
ReplyDeleteGenius!
ReplyDeleteHave we had a post of the week yet?
ReplyDeleteOK, I admit it--I thought this was real as I was reading it.
ReplyDeleteI had my doubts with the headline. No way a SEC school allows a player to sign up for a class with an English professor during football season! Especially one with poetry! :) What do you think summer classes with "sports-friendly" grad assistants are for? Funny stuff. the use of Glenn Guilbeau's name was brilliant.
ReplyDeleteI so love this page.
ReplyDeleteMeep!
ReplyDeleteI LOVE that it's an English Professor's fault; isn't it always? :o)
ReplyDeleteTouche - ya got me. I kept looking for the 'rest of the article' link.
ReplyDeleteBut life imitates art. I've had more or less this experience, fielding irate emails from an off campus coach who was furious that I wouldn't allow Star Player to reschedule the final exam around practice for the Big Contest.