I might as well be dropping acid. I just realized something. I don't know why I didn't see it sooner. It was right there staring me in the face the whole time. The scales have fallen from my eyes....
The reason Gordo is always there, 24/7, divine CM majordomo... he's more than one person. He's a husband-and-wife team. Or maybe even a threesome. Or--OMFGx2!--he's four different people, and each one takes a six-hour shift covering the Misery.
{jaw drop}
It's like the Miami Four in reverse. Instead of four of us doing all the writing (and reading, and whateverthehellelse) and pretending to be thousands of us, it's actually far more mind-blowing. Behind each avatar, there are four real people. Or more!!! omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg What if there are a million people doing all the duties of Gordo?! Of course, that explains his almost infinite wisdom, and how he apparently never goes to sleep, and all the other mind-boggling stuff.
I just don't know why I didn't see it sooner. I was so naive, I guess.
And what about Frod? The main guy must be headquartered in Fresno, surely, but there must be a dozen Frods spread out across the country. And one in Tokyo. And one in Paris. And one in Moscow. And, oh FUCK, there must be a Frod at the South Pole doing whatever science-type stuff the Frods do. And they all have special phones that they talk to each other on, so that they can coordinate their CM opinions and nuanced activities that ingeniously make it all seem like one very dedicated person.
And Strel... is, most definitely, two or three thousand Russians being crowd-sourced via MTurk by some clever dreamer in a large dead north east industrial city.
Oh jesus, it's like that scene in Contact when the scientist sees the truth. It's so beautiful. I had no idea. How can words describe this?
It's like a reverse panopticon, to the 38th power, with a tinge of Mobius strip, on steroids and MDMA, in love.
How many of us are there?
I....
that must be one beautiful smoke you're having bubba...save some for me.
ReplyDeletePersonally, my persona is run by a team of academics at five different institutions. Most of us are adjuncts doing the online thing, but there are some at traditional schools, including a few T-T people and even a silverback and two retirees. One of us is paid $15/hour out of a research fund to do most of the typing, but only about a third of the ideas are his. We are all men. We share a common interest in the humanities and an passion for making fun of students, colleagues and especially the fucktard administrations at our various institutions.
ReplyDeleteWe meet every second vernal equinox to drink the blood of a sacrificed undergrad plagiarist, toast the members of the persona who have died over the past year, and brainstorm new BS for this site.
Just call me "Team Hobo!"
ReplyDeleteYes we admit the truth: the entire academic population of Saint Petersburg, plus the Ghost of Leon Trotsky, make up "Strelnikov."
ReplyDeleteIt was damn hard.
(Trotsky says "I need to be exposed like I need another icepick in my brain!")
***
Lenin lived
Lenin lives
Lenin will motherfuckin' LIVE AGAIN, because we're cloning his ass in 2015!
- the staff
Strel -
ReplyDeleteЛенина больше нету. Его уже давно расстрели героические латышские стрелки.
All I want to know is whether the other members of my team grade papers, and, if so, where I can send the d*mn things.
ReplyDeleteAlso, it strikes me once again that for (an) atheist(s), (the) Strelnikov(s) is/are amazingly liturgical. Hard to overcome early training, I suppose.
ReplyDeleteAnd finally, I want to join slave's cabal -- but I guess I can't, because I'm female.
ReplyDeleteBeing a hologram, I can't really do acid (unless I jump into Seven's body). However, B'ellana is usually pretty keen to tweek my visual receptors and mood subroutines in exchange for a Klingon aphrodisiac.
ReplyDelete@CC - There is no formal prohibition on female membership, but so far it has worked out as a kind of ol' boys' club. We could invite you for an interview, but how do we put you in touch with one of the retirees without outing the rest of us or you? We'd have to see a resume at least. I think the logistics are a bit dangerous. I actually enjoy the CC persona, so I would encourage at least some of you to stick with it!
ReplyDelete@Slave: I didn't think about that. I probably shouldn't admit it, given my self-proclaimed Christianity, but it was the "meet[ing] every second vernal equinox to drink the blood of a sacrificed undergrad plagiarist" that intrigued me. Perhaps the Cassandras could join the Slaves for that? Some such rituals go better when both genders are present.
ReplyDeleteMy team is: one frog, one toad. Two ponds, one mind. Some flies doing the menial work.
ReplyDelete@ CC - You're on. Perhaps you could propose a place for the ceremony that could blend our world views. We usually meet in a forest clearing, but behind the altar at the cathedral in Cologne would be cool, too. Or down in the pews at your local congregation? We could sell the dried meat of the plagiarist at coffee hour.
ReplyDelete@ AdjunctSlave,
ReplyDeleteTake the limit as the norm of the congregation goes to zero.