"I was up till 11 pm grading!"
"Me, I was up till 1 am, and I ran out of coffee."
"That's nothing. I never slept at all, graded a stack of finals on my lap while I drove here to pick up more grading."
Okay, already. There's a lot of grading at the end of the term. But yammering on about it INSTEAD of just doing it only delays the end of the term.
Is this some leftover Puritan work ethic bullshit? We only feel worthy if we are busy?
I say bullshit to all that. When my colleagues play the "I work harder than you" game, I holler from my office: "Hey, I finished my grading days ago, but I've been ripping it up on Call of Duty for hours!"
Sure, the job often brings long hours and lots of grading. But just do it, and then go home. I'm not impressed. I often think to myself, "If you're working that long, perhaps you're not doing it right in the first place."
Call of Duty?
ReplyDeletePshaw!
Skyrim is where it's at, friend.
Hiram, we're a wee bit testy this morning, aren't we? Did we forget to take our meds? This is not a contest. This is BITCHING. Bitching is FUN. More fun that Call of Duty.
ReplyDeleteHiram, it depends on your discipline. If you're a comp and literature instructor, as I am, the end of the semester means A METRIC FUCKTON of grading--and it's not Scantron grading or short answer grading or whatever kind of grading is easier/goes faster for other disciplines. Though I will say that I don't comment on end-of-semester writing, and it does go faster than during the regular semester, when I am writing marginal comments and end comments along with the grade.
ReplyDeleteWhy are you in your office, anyway, if you're done? Shouldn't you be at the bar? That's where I'd be. Way more fun and interactive than Skyrim or Call of Duty...plus, you know, alcohol!
I sympathize with Hiram's point insofar as he's talking about the alienating practice of one-upmanship rather than simple bitching, which is indeed fun. I still haven't learned how to deal with colleagues who engage in the former, save for biting my tongue, which isn't tremendously satisfying.
ReplyDelete@Burntchrome
ReplyDeleteoffice does not mean "no alcohol." In my VAP, I was fortunate to share an office with a homebrewer (officebrewer?) who generously provided lots of samples, especially after hours.
I loved it, but never really got any feedback from him. He may not have cared for the upstart moved into his office and cleaned out the fridge...
@Burnt,
ReplyDeleteHow many shitloads are in a metric fuckton?
My situation is similar to BurntChrome's (with the added problem of being behind on grading small assignments from the middle-end of the semester, since I did a lot of new stuff this semester -- a good thing, but I know from experience that with a 4/4 writing-intensive load, I can innovate or stay on top of grading, but not both. So I alternate, and deal with the consequences). And I'm a bit annoyed at our registrar, who is showing signs of trying to enforce hitherto lightly-enforced exam-to-final-grade turnaround times that have never reflected the reality of composition teachers (and also seem to regard weekend days as workdays, with no regard for those who, like me, try to at least semi-observe a Sabbath).
ReplyDeleteAlso, my grading keeps getting interrupted by frantic emailed requests for extensions and/or incompletes (I'm simply ignoring the "where are our grades?" messages, since I told students on the last day of class when grades would be available -- relying on the "drop dead" deadline that has hitherto been customary -- and that date is days away).
But I'm not complaining. And I also spent an hour doing my own writing this morning, and will spend a few hours in a museum with friends this afternoon. I grade more quickly when I return from these breaks, I promise. And at least I'm not hanging around my department complaining (though I will have to go in at some point to transfer a metric fuckton of little grades to the LMS, which goes much faster with the larger screen and quicker connection available in my office).
It's the one-upping of this that pisses me off, too. My colleagues get around a table in the lounge and do it for hours at a time. If you don't partake you're just a gold-bricker.
ReplyDeleteI like to tweak them with, "I finished my grading weeks ago. It wasn't really that hard."
But they just keep going. It's like the Python sketch.
If I might brag for a moment...
ReplyDeleteThis year, I decided that "brevity" was one of the major points I wished to get across to my students. And so, for their final papers, I have asked for a 3-page essay, double-spaced. No more. Three tiny pages!! Takes me 5 minutes per person!
#winning
Yeah, well, Hiram, I've been to the gym, shopping, got my Christmas tree up, played with and groomed the dog, went out to eat... all while you've only played Call of Duty in your office, no less?
ReplyDeleteThe one-up-manship has NO contest when comparing Comp/Lit grading to other disciplines. None. I am almost done with mine, but I wanted to come whine about it on here first... :o)
Bitching about grading is almost the only collegial bonding exercise my department does. Without it we'd never talk to each other at all. I welcome the December Bitching Ritual. Reminds us we're all on the same page...
ReplyDeleteThe constant game of oneupmanship was something that often irritated me, having first encountered it when I worked in industry in the late 1970s. I couldn't have cared less about who had the bigger house, the faster car, the prettier wife, the smarter kids, or even how hard they worked. At the same time, I failed to see how such details about my personal life could have been of the remotest concern to anyone else as I preferred to mind my own business and do my job.
ReplyDeleteOver the years, I concluded that the people I knew who persistently engaged in such petty games must have had an overwhelming sense of inferiority or inadequacy, with some envy thrown in for good measure. Unfortunately, though, not participating in the endless rounds of oneupmanship could have led to being ostracized and branded persona non grata.
Maybe it was some sort of team-building ritual or something to do with people skills. Fortunately, I haven't had to worry about it for several years now that I'm semi-retired.
Nobody remembers the great American tradition of tall tales?
ReplyDeleteBut really. Grading actual papers is really different than exams with a key. And when I use Scantrons, boom! Grading is a cinch.
Bitching is good - I rather like the fact that this is the only time of year when there's any 'we're all in this together' feeling in the department.
ReplyDeleteHowever if people start one-upping "I was up SOOO late last night" I've found the best response is to sympathise "oh yes, that happened to me once when I completely messed up my scheduling of assignments. I soon fixed that! I'm sure you can do better next semester"
That really pisses them off... and yet I'm just being empathetic and helpful, right?
For the literary folks in the bunch, how about:
ReplyDeleteWhen using MLA format, the correct margin spacing is
A
B
C
D
I can't actually give any options, as I don't gave a clue.