I don’t mean to sound heartless. I know everyone’s life is hard. But mine is too. My classes already have too many students in them for me to properly teach a composition course without doing hours and hours and hours of what might be called “overtime” in a normal work world. I work very hard and each and every student gets a lot of my time. As do most of us here. I WILL NOT OVERLOAD MY CLASSES.
Period.
I won’t do it.
Let the begging begin!
[+]
Moaning Martha and her Mommy
Hi Martha! Hi Mommy! Nice to meet you! Oh, and hello to you, too, Asshole Agnes from Student Services! Yes, I see you waving at me and pointing to Martha-and-her-Mommy from over there at the Student Services table! So, Martha! You need to take Composition. And you need me to overload you into my already full class, because that is the only course you can possibly take.
No, sorry. See, that class is full. But there are other classes, late afternoon sections, with lots of spaces. Oh, Mommy, yes, I did hear that that time was not convenient either for you or for Martha. Oh…Agnes promised you I’d add you in? Hmmm. Well---
I won’t. Why not? Well, (taking deep breaths while getting ready to recite my schtick) because I care about each and every one of my students, and I know they deserve all of my time, and if I overload my classes I won’t be able to give them the time they deserve….Hey, wait. Don’t let your eyes cloud over like that, I’m telling you something important….
Yes, I heard you tell me that you NEED this class. I heard you tell me about your financial woes that kept you from registering on time. Oh yes, Mommy, I recognize how important this particular time slot is for little Martha. And oh, HELLO AGNES! How sweet of you to come over from your table to say hi in person! Wow, I don’t know why you would have assured them I’d overload my class….well of course I’d like to do you a personal favor if I possibly could, but…No, Martha’s Mommy, begging on your knees won’t help, and I’m sure you’d get dirt on your nice work clothes.
Oh yes, Martha. Glad someone is listening! That afternoon class is your best bet. No is my final offer.
Yes, well, goodbye then. I’ll certainly talk with you later, Agnes. I’ll look FORWARD to it!
[+]
E-mail Eddie
Ah Eddie! Yes, it is true that I cannot work every single late registration shift, thank God! And so you missed me yesterday. And someone from Student Services told you that if you e-mailed me, I could add you into my class? Sorry, I cannot do it. The class is full.
Oh! How nice to hear from you again, Eddie. No, there is no way around that “No”---my class is full and I simply cannot take another student into it.
Oh Eddie----I’m hearing from you a third time! You ARE a persistent little guy, aren’t you! I am SURE it would be LOVELY to have you as a student! So you are planning to stand outside my classes next week with an add drop in hand! That little pal of yours from student services told you that if someone drops my class, or just does not come on the first day, it will be only fair for me to add you into my class. Well, actually, Eddie, it is true that sometimes students drop the class, up to and including during the first week while registration is still allowed. So what you can do is stay by that computer of yours, watching the class, and if it opens up, if you are there at just the right moment, you can snatch it up with online registration!
No, an add drop form won’t help you, even though you think that would be “just as easy” for you. I don’t add students into the class, because they fill it up so quickly themselves when there is a late opening. Oh, Eddie, I’ll be watching my course list anxiously to see if you make it into the class!
[+]
Financial Aid Francine
Hello, Francine. So, you need this one course to fill out your schedule. You need four courses this semester. You have child care issues, work issues, life issues, health issues, parent issues, car issues, tax issues, and a wardrobe issue, and you simply cannot reschedule another thing ! Furthermore, if I cannot add you into this class, you will lose your financial aid because you need FOUR COURSES and this is the only course that will work! And if you lose your financial aid, you will lose your ability to attend college at all, and then you will lose your child care, and then you will lose your apartment, and then you will lose your job, and then you will lose your whole life! Your whole life, Francine, that’s what is hanging in the balance here! If I don’t add you into my class, you’ll die, you really will, and your children will die too!
You know, I guess I should feel worse for you Francine, but I can’t help wondering why, if your whole life was hanging in the balance, you did not register on time? And also, there are evening classes, weekend classes, afternoon classes. Surely, with your whole life hanging in the balance, you can work something out. And I, actually, have child care issues, life issues, health issues, work issues, and, so I am sometimes told, wardrobe issues too. I just can’t take on another thing or I’ll die myself.
For me, the conversations often go like this:
ReplyDeleteRegistrar's office Reggie (to Moaning Martha): We can't register you into a full class unless the prof gives you an over-ride.
Advising Adrianna (to Moaning Martha): It's up to the professor whether he wants to give you an over-ride to get into a full class.
Exit Reggie and Adrianna
Enter R and/or G
Moaning Martha: Reggie and Adrianna said that you will give me an over-ride.
That is exactly how it goes. The softies among us will sugarcoat it as "poor listening skills." We realists call it lying.
DeleteAt my school, though, only the Dean can override a full class after the instructor okays it. Apparently in the past some instructors liked to overload their courses. Overload courses = overload pay.
Not in my world. Overload courses = more work for no extra pay. See Stella's comment below.
DeleteOne department at my uni has a new policy. All sections have a two person overload as it should even out when students drop in the first week. Of course those students get replaced by others.
ReplyDeleteThis actually sounds pretty smart, not because you're ensured full numbers (Gawd no, anything we can do to reduce those numbers only improves our working conditions), but because then you can say, "Seriously, even in the event of drops, my class is already fully booked" and then you don't even have to entertain these various cases.
DeleteBrilliant, Bella. Brilliant.
ReplyDeleteClass starts on Monday. Students can add up through Feb. 3rd, but only with a permission number. My composition courses are F U L L and no, I will not hand out permission numbers. On the first day of class I breathlessly go through the first-day attendance, hoping for no-shows. No such luck, usually. The nice thing about my campus is that they cannot "shop"--our comp sections are full, so if they didn't register on time, they're SOL until the next semester.
I'm curious about the nature of the "wardrobe issue." Very funny!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete"wardrobe issue" *snort!*
ReplyDeleteBrava! This one merits a "post of the week" award, I think.
ReplyDeleteI especially like Martha's willingness to get on with dealing with the reality of the situation while the "adults" indulge in histrionics, and also, of course, the "wardrobe issues." I've got to take a break from class prep and do some laundry, or I'm going to have wardrobe issues myself.
*grin*
ReplyDeleteOne day this fall it rained really hard really unexpectedly in the middle of the day. Students were coming in soaked, and I even found one in the bathroom ringing out her clothes as best she could into the sink.
In a friend's class, a girl came up to the instructor and asked timidly "Can I borrow a sweater?" because her shirt had become entirely see-through and despite wearing a bra she was definitely having a wardrobe malfunction.
I'm curious to hear about the OP's experience though! :)
2nding CC about post of the week. Excellent stuff, Bella!
ReplyDeleteWhat galls me is that our fancy new registration system has a tool available that could eliminate the misery (or at least minimize it): an automated waiting list. But wait, we haven't activated that. All these people could sign up on the auto-wait, it would email them the instant there's a drop and hold the slot for 24 hours, and they could actually get in without torturing advising, faculty, and chairpersons.
ReplyDeleteLarge Urban Community College's administration has finally wised up and realized that what most faculty have been telling them for years is true. Registering late and missing a day or more of class the first week does not bode well for Sidney Slacker. So this term they cut off registration early. Unfortunately we still have a cultural issue that our job is to "help" students no matter what, so some people are overriding the system.
If you're at a unionized campus, aren't there class maximums in your collective bargaining agreement? And if you're not unionized, aren't there department policies about class maximums?
ReplyDeleteWhere I work (unionized), we're required to add students up to the class maximum (30 students in an English comp class) through the end of the second week of the semester. That's reasonable enough.
Because classes are full with long waitlists on day 1, there's never any reason--for me, at least--to add students. I tell Moaning Martha, Email Eddy, and Financial Aid Francine, that the class maximums are the class maximums and that I can't, and won't, add additional students.
That's almost always the end of the conversation.
It's taken some time and some union work (teachers who accept more than 10 percent above the agreed-upon class maximum get a nastygram from the VP for Academic affairs AND the union president), but almost everyone is holding the line.
Maybe it helps, too, that our students are mostly working-class Latinos who understand that there are only so many seats on the bus and the driver's not gonna let riders stand in the aisles.
epic.
ReplyDeleteOur class enrollments are pegged to number of physical seats. You're not allowed to take people and make them sit on the floor. The end.
ReplyDeleteHello! So, the wardrobe malfunction! Well, she was wearing overly tight jeans and a too short top. Classic muffin top, but so pronounced that it was almost distracting. This lady had young children. Look, I know there are women out there with fortunate genes who lose the jello like mass on their bellies right away after having kids, but for the rest of us...well....This is a common look around here at my particular school.
ReplyDeleteI was watching t.v. with my husband...well actually he was watching t.v. and I was in the room working on my syllabi, and on comes this commercial for a miraculous thing! It's kind of like a...well you might call it a body shaper. I am NOT trying to sell you something, but here is a link to it: https://www.gettrendytop.com/?tag=im|sm|bi|tm&a_aid=011&a_bid=8e56370e
So anyway, this ad really caught my eye, and I looked up, got intrigued by the commercial, and without thinking let out an orgasmic "YES!!!!"
My husband was very curious about what I might be reading online.
I would REALLY like it if more women I end up working with somehow avoided this particular wardrobe malfunction.
My own (most recent) wardrobe malfunction was different. I was teaching class, and this all the students seemed a bit giggly. One of them, very outspoken and easily distracted, finally yelled out "FIX YOUR DARN SWEATER! I CAN'T STAND IT!" I looked down and could not figure out what was wrong. I immediately jumped to the conclusion that the sweater was too tight. It was a button down, and due to health problems last semester I had to be on steroids for three months straight and I gained a bit of weight. My heart kind of sank, but this was a good class, and I told them, half mock sternly, half the real thing, that they would just have to listen to the golden wisdom coming out of my mouth and to forget about how horrific I might look. Surprisingly, this worked, and the class settled down and ended up fine. After class, I went to the ladies' room to see just how horrific I DID look. It turned out I had buttoned up the darn sweater completely lopsidedly!!
Oh and Phillip, yes we are unionized. So there is a set maximum. But what I don't have is a union that pressures members to avoid going over that limit. Ive never heard of such a thing but it sounds wonderful. In my situation we are compared to profs who do accommodate such requests and are pressured by student services. I am so happy to be fully tenured.
ReplyDeletePeople should talk about it, whether at union meetings or in your department meetings. You know all the arguments, Bella: Classes that are too big aren't good for either teachers or students, and if you accept 33 students in a section where there's a max of 30, you're increasing your workload by 10%, but your paycheck stays the same.
DeleteMy response if I were compared to "profs who do accommodate": "Lookit. Part of the definition of 'professional' means we do it for money. Teaching extra students for free means working for free. It's unprofessional."
"Pressured by student services?" At my campus, counselors are part of the union, too. Ask your counselors, whether they're part of your union or not, how they would like it if they were expected to keep shorter counseling appointments with more students every hour. Could they do their jobs then?
Finally, ask/demand (whichever you'd prefer) that your union negotiate the enforcement of class maximums. It's a real union issue because teachers who take additional students are taking away class sections from adjuncts. I don't think that the administrators where I work are particularly enlightened, but even they understand that there's a reason for class maximums, and if you already have them, then they need to be respected.
Finally, explaining this issue to students can be a teachable moment. The lesson is the slippery slope argument: "You're telling me that if 30 students is the limit, then 31 won't make much of a difference. If 31, why not 32? If 32, why not 33? If 33, why not 333? As the teacher of this class, I've got to draw the line somewhere. And I draw it at the class maximums the union and the district have agreed on."
Phillip, I agree with what you say. It is a good idea to suggest this to the union. At our last meeting the president actually made the point that those profs generous (his word) enough to overload their classes helped adjuncts because they make it possible to sometimes run a class with fewer than the minimum number. I completely agree that the line needs to be drawn at zero overloads. It is too bad that there is so much pressure at my cc to take on extra students. As I said above, I simply will not do it. Period.
DeleteAny student who misses the first class should be DROPPED, and there should be NO waitlist after midnight before the first day of the semester. If they can't figure out how to register EARLY, they're fucking idiots and don't belong in college. It's a litmus test (among many other tests), for fux sake.
ReplyDeleteAt my Mid-Sized Suburban Community College, we have OPEN ADMISSIONS, as many CC's do. This means that we have to weed out HUGE numbers of students, unless we want the degree to be absolutely worthless.
WE are the ones who must enforce the standards, since admissions enforces NOTHING and lets in every fucking dumbshit who applies. WE are the filter. Our society depends on US, the teachers, to prevent totally incompetent numbskulls from getting degrees. And that's the way it should be: Academic Darwinism.
Once again, to paraphrase the modern bard Jay-Z:
ReplyDeleteIf your having reg problems I feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems but your's ain't one
I think I'm going to start handing out the "waist dickey" to all the women on the first day of class. Or just keep a stash around for when they're necessary. I teach a lab. I've had people where 6 inch platforms and little to no clothing. It's awkward for everyone.
ReplyDeleteAhhhh, tenure.
ReplyDeleteWhat I would really like to say to the students that want me to bump the cap is: "What could possibly induce me to take on hours of extra work without pay to accommodate you, when I don't know you from Adam, I don't have to, and you would never in a million years do the same for me?"
I'd like to say that just once. Just once. Instead I do the bullshit "The caps are there for a reason...etc. etc. etc."
I think this post fails to place the blame for the "overloaded classes" issue where it belongs. When certain classes consistently create tons of overload requests, one might suppose it's because there's a greater demand for those classes than there is a supply of them. The "begging" might get annoying, but realize that in many cases it isn't a symptom of snowflakery: it's a direct result of the fact that students are more or less told by their advisors to beg for entry.
ReplyDeleteI'm an undergraduate trying to finish up school with a linguistics minor. One snag: the linguistics minor requires three core courses, all of which are consistently overbooked. Linguistics majors have priority registration for these courses, so by the time I'm allowed to register for them, they're already overloaded by 5-6 students. I have asked the linguistics advisor how to approach this, and her response is that I should e-mail professors to seek permission to overload. There is literally no other option if I want to get into these courses and keep my minor, and the professors have absolutely no incentive to allow me into their classes. They ignore my e-mails - understandably, because it's a waste of time to reply to students that you know will just pester you for something you don't want to give them - and all I can do is hope that my cloying persistence pays off somehow. It seems to me that in many cases the issue is a much more systemic one than your analysis suggests.
Hi Emily! There are a couple of huge differences between your story and mine....the most important being that in your case, there is an inadequate supply of a needed course. In my case, there ARE open classes, just not during "convenient" times.
DeleteAnother difference is that at my college at least, a student who was trying to complete a program (a minor or a major would count as a program) would be a much higher priority than other students. We take program completion very seriously----it's one way our college is evaluated when we go through our accreditation process (we have to show that we DO offer all the courses in our programs on a regular basis, and that they are available and open with enough regularity that all students enrolled in that program can graduate within the ideal two year period that it takes, hypothetically, for a student to get an associates degree). In such a case (and actually, this would never happen with a Composition class, as that class is a prereq for so many other classes that would have been required at the beginning of any program) it would not be some inconsiderate fool from student services (sorry Sawyer...oh how I wish you worked at my college!) but rather the program coordinator would be contacting me to ask for the overload. And I would give it in such a case----I'd have to. We HAVE to take those kinds of overloads. It's a completely different scenario. Funny, though...the program coordinators have that kind of extra power, but they for the most part at not rude about it. They don't assure students we will take them without asking. They try to find a course for the student that is not full first. Well, they are all fellow professors, so they understand more what we profs go through.
Emily, if you want some advice from me about your issue, I'd tell you to take this to the Academic Dean. Write a sternly worded e-mail, asking why the college offers your minor at all, since they do not offer enough sections to make it a feasible option for most minors. Copy the program coordinator and the department chair. I'd be really angry about this if I were you. I wish you all the best.
One more point to add: no more courses CAN be added during the slots in which I teach my classes. There are simply no more classrooms. We do need a bigger campus, but with all the budget cuts, I don't think we are going to get one anytime soon.
DeleteFor writing so cogently and fluently as an undergrad, Emily should get to jump all the other waitlisters.
ReplyDelete