Tuesday, January 31, 2012

If only . . .

I've seen the following letter making the rounds on the Intertubes. I post it for your consideration and potential use.

Herbert A. Millington
Chair - Search Committee
412A Clarkson Hall, Whitson University
College Hill, MA 34109

Dear Professor Millington,

Thank you for your letter of March 16. After careful consideration, I
regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me
an assistant professor position in your department.

This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually
large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field
of candidates, it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.

Despite Whitson's outstanding qualifications and previous experience in
rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my needs at
this time. Therefore, I will assume the position of assistant professor
in your department this August. I look forward to seeing you then.

Best of luck in rejecting future applicants.

Sincerely,
Chris L. Jensen

9 comments:

  1. This is a great letter!

    It's been around a while, at least since 1996. It might even be older. The sentiment works for every generation!

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  2. I'm sure we posted this at some point, or maybe I saw it RYS. But I cannot find it anywhere.

    It's a doozy, and I'm glad new readers get to see it.

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  3. Wherever it came from (and I'm not sure, either, but I'm pretty sure I saw it some time back, maybe even posted on an office door back when that's how you shared things with your friends), it's a classic, and well worth resurrecting in this (still, again) bad market.

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  4. I think I remember an old mimeographed version - with that blueish purple ink that reeked of alcohol. In fact, it might even be what that old Sumerian tablet said (I kid).

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  5. Perhaps somewhere in the OT, it makes an appearance? :o) I love it! Thanks for re-posting.

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  6. I got it via e-mail in the mid-1990s, when nobody thought the market could get any worse. Surprise!

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    Replies
    1. Oh, spit-take hilarious. Surprise indeed!

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