I have to say I didn't think much of the defense strategy that said "well, uhm, it wasn't the head injury from getting whacked against the wall multiple times, she suffocated from getting thrown face-down on the pillow and being unconscious so she couldn't turn over." Since they both sound like things the defendant was 100% responsible for.
I think this is in such incredibly poor taste. If the allegations are right, he beat his girlfriend to death. Your joking about it makes me nauseous. I hope you'll take this down, or that the moderators will.
Well, the allegations are right, because he has been convicted. I take the "joking" as mockery.
You're often very funny, Bubba, but this is in terrible taste.
Hit or Miss?(miss)
Clearly Dr. Bubba's comment were dripping with sarcasm. Darn you, Internets, for killing sarcasm!
I understand Vanfur's comment,and at some distance perhaps,Bubba's joke might be funny.But Ms. Love's familyhas just had all these wounds reopened,and there are young couples on each of our campuses,playing out some version of this taleas some yuck it up.
I teach at a nearby college, and the pain in these communities about this tragedy is quite real. The terrible actions of the young man have resulted in immense and crippling pain in both families. Making light of it seems inhuman.
Accusations of bad taste? Really? Are we really concerning ourselves with what is or is not "in bad taste"? Sheesh. I don't think Yeardley Love's family is going to be reading an academic blog for college professors, and nothing is off limits for me if it's funny and/or makes me think. Or both. If it's in bad taste, all the better. Obviously the humor here is of the gallows variety. So what? I guess the underlying question here that I saw Bubba posing is whether stunning good looks, a powerful, monied family, and a stellar education outweighs the fact that the stunning, rich, educated boy is a murderer.And I'm not sure I know the answer to that, even considering the conviction.
That was what I got, too, though not all of it. I also found myself thinking about the two wasted lives, people who had had the best of care, attention, education, everything our culture has to give them, and now one is dead and the other will get out of jail in - how long will he really serve, for a 26 year sentence? I don't know. I suppose the judge has yet to rule on the sentence; that was just the jury's recommendation.I found myself looking at the picture of that guy, in his nice jacket and shirt, and handcuffs, being led in by the guard, and you can tell he's thinking, how the hell did I get here? This is not how it was supposed to be. This is not the life everyone said I would have. I was going to go to San Francisco after I graduated.
It's not funny at all.It's not funny that there are lots of people who care that this man is handsome, athletic, moneyed, and white.It's not funny that this story wouldn't have made headlines if the victim had been a poor, black, "unattractive," uneducated woman with McCune-Albright Syndrome. She would have just gotten a one-inch death notice in the local newspaper.I intentionally didn't include a photo of the victim in the post. I think many of us on CM aren't beautiful, and we're well aware of the ways that the not-so-stunning get overlooked.On the other hand, we're almost uniformly well-educated and intelligent, and we dedicate our lives to teaching/training/molding/shaping little monsters like this murderer. What good does it do? He was allowed (by us) into a great college. He sailed through our classes, and what good did it do him?Our culture says that the important thing is for us to giggle and say, "Oh, golly, he sure is hot. I wish I could do him. I wish I could catch his attention."The RGM will censor or not. That's the real god-damned moderator's prerogative. I understand.If, before it gets censored, even just one college girl sees this post and realizes that she might be better off with a homely, compassionate, "imperfect," and kind classmate than with the monster hunk, then I'll be glad.I'm not as quick to laugh as Stella, but I fucking love to read her stuff. Even when it disturbs me. Perhaps especially when it disturbs me. Or, like she said, when it makes me think. I didn't come anywhere near laughing when I posted this. Everybody feels sorry for the victim. Sure, I do, too. But I feel like we let down this monster (pictured above). His parents, his community, his proffies… everybody. We groomed/encouraged/allowed him to be a monster. How sad for him and how sad for us all.
There was quite a bit of mail last night asking me to take the post down (maybe 30 notes). My first, personal, response was similar. What Bubba writes above, however, is remarkable and illuminating. It's turned my head around, and I believe it'll have a similar effect on others.Again, personally, this story has had a very powerful effect on me because of an abuse case that involved two of my own students several years ago. I admit that I'm quite sensitive to Ms. Love's tragedy, but I'm glad Bubba has shown me the larger tragedy.
I should make clear that the 4:45 AM "College Misery" reply above was from me, Fab Sun. As many of you know, Cal and I are currently trading off on being the "new" RGM.PS: Dear Leslie K...where are you when we need you?? Call the compound.
Bubba,The only thing I can say here is that I think you needed to give a little more of a clue as to your motives behind this post.In reading your comment, I totally see where you're coming from. I've been hit a few times for posts and comments where what I intended didn't translate so well in what I posted. I think that was the case here.When I originally read the post (prior to any comments being posted), I noticed the "NOT" in caps, which to me gave a glimpse into your opinion, and therefore (again, to me) an (incomplete) idea of your intent. Unfortunately, this does not always come across clearly in type, especially in the case of emotionally charged topics.
You think Bubba's post was in bad taste? Here's bad taste:My response to Bubba's question was, "This is a question other men named Bubba may well be asking very soon. Large, lonely men."
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