Monday, February 20, 2012
Jobs and Relationships
In the past two months, a few jobs in the area have opened up. T/T, good places. I think I have a good chance. I'm a better candidate now and I know people on the hiring committees. But my partner is struggling at his new job. His faculty environment is terrible. I have mentioned here before about the open hostility among faculty at this Ivy. There are tears at faculty meetings and people who slam the door as they leave. They sabotage each other's classes. They use students as weapons. It's disgraceful. And secretly I'm glad I didn't get that job even as I distress at his pain, stress, and increasing alcoholism.
So now, Partner wants to leave his crappy work environment at a snappy Ivy and apply for these nearby jobs too. And it leaves me at a loss.
He has the dream job: well-paying and all. The faculty sucks, but all jobs have some suck. He at least has T/T, benefits, and good pay. Argh, but I hate seeing him so miserable.
My work life really sucks. I'm not allowed in faculty meetings since I'm just an adjunct. I have no benefits. I'm traveling about 8 hours a week to get to my various places of work. But I suppose I have a little bit of freedom from administrative red tape. I feel completely torn about this job situation.
I want him to be supportive of my attempts to solidify my career in this region. His application may not be the one that knocks me out of the running, and this isn't about both of us going for it and one of us getting it, but about him looking at me and hoping I get something more than this constant commute and thankless string of jobs.
Not to mention, if it weren't for my relentless pursuit of job pages, he would never even know of these hiring opportunities.
Now we are struggling between our careers and remembering that we still love each other. It's growing very tense. I thought readers who have been there might have some advice. I'm not really sure how to keep going, especially if he does not apply for this job and then I fail to get it -- after all, I'm sure every job going gets at least 100 applications.
Feeling a little alone right now. All advice, anecdotes, or off-topic jokes much appreciated.