A colleague came to my room with a somber face and closed the door. He had bad news. His Master's student, the creepy student with whom I had had a blowout last year and whom I refused to mentor for his thesis, committed suicide two days ago.
Creepy had been in another project seminar of mine and was currently enrolled in my good scientific practice seminar. He was being normally creepy, but we had been containing him rather well, I felt. He didn't show up for class the past two weeks, though.
Part of me is relieved that we don't have to deal with him again - I really don't know how he would have been able to survive the Master's defense. But on the other hand, I don't wish even the flakiest of flakes an early death. They just need to transfer from basket weaving to gardening.
So rest in peace, Creepy.
This is a good example of why "retention at all costs" is a terriable idea. Not everyone is equipped to handle the pressures of college, academically or emotionally. When we encourage someone to "keep trying" and making accommodations so they can "finish out the course". They loom around them and wonder "why can't I do this? It looks so easy for everyone else." Pair this with what I suspect may be an untreated or maybe even undiagnosed mental illness it is a recipe for disaster. One MUST have the needed social skills, coping skills, and academic skills to have a successful academic and eventually professional career.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you had to be subjected to this, Suzy. It really shouldn't be your job.
ReplyDeleteAs someone who has had mental health issues, this makes me so sad. "Creepy" is someone's brother, or son, or nephew, and they are doubtless devastated. It isn't our job to save them, but can we show a little respect?
ReplyDelete@FML, you are so right. College, especially a master's degree program, is not for everyone, no matter how much money they pour at it.
ReplyDelete@Frog and Toad, the link above was to the big issue that I had with this student. I have suggested that the school issue him his degree post-mortem, since he had all the credits and just the thesis was missing. That would perhaps be a slight consolation for his relatives.
These are the lyrics to a dark song, possibly a song Creepy knew.
ReplyDelete"Heroin", written by Lou Reed, performed by The Velvet Underground
I don't know just where I'm going
But I'm gonna try for the kingdom, if I can
'Cause it makes me feel like I'm a man
When I put a spike into my vein
And I'll tell ya, things aren't quite the same
When I'm rushing on my run
And I feel just like Jesus' son
And I guess that I just don't know
And I guess that I just don't know
I have made the big decision
I'm gonna try to nullify my life
'Cause when the blood begins to flow
When it shoots up the dropper's neck
When I'm closing in on death
And you can't help me now, you guys
And a
You can all go take a walk
And I guess that I just don't know
And I guess that I just don't know
I wish that I was born a thousand years ago
I wish that I'd sail the darkened seas
On a great big clipper ship
Going from this land here to that
In a sailor's suit and cap
Away from the big city
Where a man can not be free
Of all of the evils of this town
And of himself, and those around
Oh, and I guess that I just don't know
Oh, and I guess that I just don't know
Heroin, be the death of me
Heroin, it's my wife and it's my life
Because a mainer to my vein
Leads to a center in my head
And then I'm better off and dead
Because when the smack begins to flow
I really don't care anymore
About all the Jim-Jim's in this town
And all the politicians makin' crazy sounds
And everybody puttin' everybody else down
And all the dead bodies piled up in mounds
'Cause when the smack begins to flow
Then I really don't care anymore
Ah, when the heroin is in my blood
And that blood is in my head
Then thank God that I'm as good as dead
Then thank your God that I'm not aware
And thank God that I just don't care
And I guess I just don't know
And I guess I just don't know
***
RIP you very strange person.
I'm sorry, Suzy. It sounds like he had a hard row to hoe, and you did what you could to help him while maintaining your own connection to reality. I'm not generally in favor of posthumous degrees, but if it makes his relatives feel better, and since he actually managed to pass the classes, I can see the argument in this case. Just check that he doesn't have any younger siblings with similar problems first; though I'm sure they meant well, whoever pushed for him to be "included" and "mainstreamed" to the point of pursuing a master's degree didn't do him any favors (though in saying that, I'm *not* suggesting that that person bears any responsibility for his death, either; depression is a separate issue, and while difficult circumstances certainly don't help it, they are rarely the sole cause, either).
ReplyDeleteJust check that he doesn't have any younger siblings with similar problems first;...
ReplyDeleteAs one of several younger siblings of an autistic person this makes me really mad. School officials throughout our primary and secondary education assumed that we were trouble or difficult or stupid or whatever. It's hard enough on families with kids with developemental disorders withotu this kind of ... help.