Or: Why I Sometimes Sit in My Office Banging My Head Against the Wall Until My Forehead Bleeds
Student: Can I change my research paper topic? I'm having a hard time finding sources.Professor: What is your topic? What methods have you used to find sources?
Student: I am doing the easiest topic in the world (although I don't know how to spell it even though it's the easiest topic in the world). So far, I have tried Googling it but nothing comes up. It's impossible! I need to switch topics. That's why I wasn't able to do the annotated bibliography assignment.
Professor: What about the library? Have you asked a research librarian for help?
Student: I haven't tried the library. I'm a junior and I haven't ever been in the library yet and I've done fine in college so far...by which I mean that I've marginally passed all but one or two classes. But anyway, I tried Google and came up empty handed. If my topic isn't on Google, it's not anywhere. Library? F--- the library.
Professor: Remember, you need to use scholarly, peer-reviewed sources for this paper. No matter what your topic is, you will need to use the library, or at least the databases that are accessible through the library. Remember? I showed you how to log in and access those from your dorm room even when it's 3:00 a.m., you're drunk, and you can't be bothered to put clothes on?
Student: You're not listening to me. There's nothing on Google. I need to change my topic.
Professor: USE THE FUCKING LIBRARY YOU IDIOT. And try spelling your keywords correctly while you're at it.
Student: So, can I change my topic?
Student: Would you stop going on about Library already? I realize that it's a leap year, but Library ended last week. Geez.
ReplyDeleteThe animated version: http://www.xtranormal.com/watch/13139362/can-i-change-my-topic
ReplyDelete@Pat...Nice one!
ReplyDeleteWhat we really need now is for StockStalker to come along and tell us how s/he* "always does this".
* probably he.
Nah the kid's first problem was picking a topic before he knew that there was a shit-ton of research available for it. Don't pick a topic that interests you...pick one on the beaten path that you can bust out a 10 page paper on in 3 hours.
DeleteLove the animation! Nicely done... It will take all of my willpower not to forward the link to my own snowflakey bunch once these same e-mails start coming in next week.
ReplyDeleteI have just had this conversation with a dozen students. Mine also respond to all advice about narrowing or refining topics with "I'll just do a different topic, then".
ReplyDeleteAh, this brings back memories, where I used Google to trump a student's protestations that there was nothing at the library: the student had to write a short paper on the ecology of Hamster Species X using at least 3 journal articles, and she came to my office claiming there were no journal articles popping up in the library searches of journals we hold subscriptions to. I threw open Google, typed "ecology Hamster Species X" as the search term, and voila, at least 5 of the search results on the first page led directly to articles in journals that could be found in the library. Wordlessly, I printed out the search results 1st page, handed it to the student, who wordlessly turned around and walked out of the office. Not surprisingly, her eyes narrowed and shot daggers at me for the rest of the term.
ReplyDeleteI think Mitch hacked into my email. Or maybe it was WhatLadder's. Apparently the content of our email inboxes is remarkably similar.
ReplyDeleteI have *somewhat* reduced these exchanges by pointing out sometime soon after I introduce the big research-based paper assignment that, while narrowing and making other incremental shifts within a pool of closely-related topics is part of the normal research process, sudden, radical, late-in-the-process changes in topic are considered a red flag for plagiarism (or at least recycled content) by writing instructors. Of course, the students who need to hear that usually aren't in class that day (or most days), and so the cycle continues.
I'm with ^CC. I don't allow late changes in topic, period. Especially since I show them, using valuable class time, how to find articles in the databases. My assignment *explicitly forbids* the use of Google or any other internet-at-large search engine, and if they don't like it, TFB. And I tell them in no uncertain terms that when I get "recycled content," they get a big fat 0 on a 100 point assignment. That has cut down on the number of cases I've had, though there's always at least one who doesn't seem to get the message when I tell them IN CLASS how easy it is to catch them when they cut and paste.
ReplyDeleteBut back in the day, boy-o, I had plenty of the little fuckers waiting til the last minute to do the research, finding the first 5 things that popped on AskJeeves.com and turning in the worst shite imaginable.
I still get a lot of shite, but at least it's coming at me through reputable sources.
Another handy trick is to turn them on to google scholar (which isn't perfect, but can be pretty useful, especially when one uses the "cited by" feature, for tracking scholarly conversations), *then* point out that they don't have to pay for those articles they "can't find"; they can find them, free (or, rather, pre-paid by their tuition and taxes) using the library databases. It helps that our library has a single, excellent "how to find full text of articles" page with *all* the options, from electronic full text to finding (gasp!) paper or microform to making use of local or national interlibrary loan options (the local one we have is quite fast). I assign that page as reading early on, and just keep students back to it as necessary (which is frequently).
ReplyDelete"And that's when I killed him, Your Honor."
ReplyDeleteI had a student tell me her research was impossible without Google because (in paraphrase) "who was going to highlight all the important terms she was searching for, if not Google?"
ReplyDeleteSomewhere there are lots of book indices crying themselves to sleep at night.
Not only that, but many databases highlight as well...
ReplyDelete*Head Desk* Head Desk* Head Desk* I HAD THIS SAME CONVERSATION TODAY! WIth an English major!
ReplyDeleteI believe this could be useful:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.gothefucktothelibrary.com/
Yeah, I am having the "last minute change to paper topic" issue too. I require a proposal, and once it is in writing, that's your topic, period. Because otherwise: plagiarism.
ReplyDeleteI don't even understand SophomoricStalker's comment. You should avoid a topic there is a "shit ton of research on" but go "down the beaten path"? Aren't those the same thing?