Saturday, April 21, 2012

"Bottom of the Ninth" by Compost.

Practices and games:
So many requirements.
Pity the athlete.

"I must miss your test."
"I need some extra credit."
"I cannot be here."

If class were baseball,
Your grade the dandelion
Outfielders step on.

8 comments:

  1. Brilliant!

    I always have a fabulous experience with my female athletes: work turned in ahead of time, emails to me reminding me of their absences and that they have turned in work, etc. The males... they disappear randomly from time to time and then want to make everything up at the end of the term.

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  2. I've mostly worked at schools with relatively 'meh' mens' athletic teams, so no high stakes insanity, just flakiness. Just once, when I was working at a school with (randomly) a very good wrestling team, I got a friendly call from an assistant coach asking how their prize specimen was doing. "Well, haven't seen him at all since the first week." "Oh, really. Interesting. Thank you!" No offers of cash or attempts at coercion. Life in the mid-pack non Div-1 has its benefits.
    But, yeah, the women are more often on the ball. Maybe it's that they can't even stupidly fantasize about a career in big money sports and know that they have to keep their college shit together?

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  3. Ditto on the women, who tend to actually be scholar-athletes (athlete-scholars?).

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  4. Just to insert a countering personal anecdote (not indicative of a general trend), last week I marked a final exam by a star female athlete. Every "i" was dotted with a little heart. blech.

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  5. Like Froad, my experience has been that female athletes trend being better students. But I've had three outstanding athlete-majors in the last eight or ten years, two male and one female.

    I've also had pretty average athlete-flakiness from females, as well. One in particular, for a class that's oversubscribed next fall, is telling me just which lab sections are and are not acceptable.

    Sorry, hon, you get what's available when you register, and them's the breaks. Your coach will understand even if you don't. (And for Pete's sake, it's an off-season sport.)

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  6. This post makes me glad once again that I don't teach at a school where sports mean anything.

    The two years I spent at Large Urban Private Catholic U when their basketball team was involved in March Madness (one year in the Final Four) were more than enough for me.

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    Replies
    1. March Madness is aptly named. You go on spring break, thinking (and having planned class activities on the assumption) that you'll see your students in a week, and come back to find that half of them are camping out trying to get tickets somewhere halfway across the country, and, if all goes well (or perhaps, from the proffie's view, badly), don't expect to be back for at least another week (or, if things go really well/badly, two), and the President, Dean, and Provost are sending emails urging you to be "understanding" because it's "such an exciting moment" (read: good publicity) for the school. The applicant pool *has* grown, but I'm still not convinced we're better off with an increased number of students who would choose a school on the basis of its basketball team. I now follow the brackets, and breathe a little sigh of relief every time my school's team is eliminated.

      The really interesting thing was watching a cousin who *didn't* attend any college root avidly for the local university team on facebook this year. Admittedly, it's a town without a lot of (maybe any) pro sports franchises, but it does put the whole thing in perspective.

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  7. A haiku rant--with a baseball theme! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

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