In a homework assignment made public to each other, one student avoided the work and took the opportunity instead to recount the first time he encountered the main idea of this week's lecture -- basically, he shared with the class a memory from when he was 6 years old and his mom was crying about something hamster fur related.
His memory really has nothing to do with anything, and it pretty much pissed me off. It is the perfect example of some dumbass kid ignoring the material and talking out of his ass instead. What the hell. This has nothing to do with our course. So I said something to him (and the class) about key concepts in discussion and staying within the boundaries of the course as we conquer each assignment.
His response: "Professor, I DID stay within the boundaries of the course. The key concepts of this week's lecture reminded me of this memory. So I don't think your criticism is valid."
OH MY GOD. Instead of replying by doing it properly, you just dig your heals in??
Listen, fuckwit. Your recounting of your mom crying over some bullshit that happened 15 years ago has *nothing* to do with our homework assignment. It is distracting our class and failing to fulfill your obligations as a student to do this particular assignment. And instead of giving you a straight up F and taking hell from all the administrators, parents, and others who coddle you little shits when you fail to follow the tiniest of directions, I gave you a second chance and reminded you to stay within the boundaries of the question and to use the reading as your guide in context. In response to this kindness I gave you, this opportunity to bounce back with a B or something, you have decided to stand up for your stupid goddamned childhood memory THAT MEANS NOTHING TO ME AND DOES NOT FULFILL THE ASSIGNMENT ASSHOLE.
So fine. Take the F. I don't care, but I really wish I could yell at your stupid entitled face right now. (thank god for CM!)
Fuck off,
Monkey Out
History seems uniquely vulnerable to this: "If I were in that situation, I think I would have..." or "This is important history because it made me grateful that I live today...." is littered all over my students' papers, despite explicit instructions to focus attention on actual historical questions and sources....
ReplyDeleteI know some psych people who get lots of this crap in Developmental Psych. "When I was a kid..." or "My little sister..."
DeleteVery true. And I know lit folks get a pretty big helping of it, too.
DeleteBut it's the unreality of it in history that strikes me. They'd all have fought their way out of the concentration camps, taken the side of the Native Americans, opened up Rome to religious diversity, respected the women of their time, subverted the Mongol hegemony, etc....
These are the kids whose moms bronzed their first poop.
ReplyDeleteDon't even get me started on Mommyjacking. STFU, Parents does a great job of skewering the parent trap.
DeleteBut his mom was CRYING!!!!!
ReplyDeleteThey like to make their own assignments...I mean they're so sweet and wonderful, aren't they? Ugh.
ReplyDeleteListen, fuckwit. Your recounting of your mom crying over some bullshit that happened 15 years ago has *nothing* to do with our homework assignment.
ReplyDeleteThat's so delicious I think I'll have it for lunch.
OMG, you're so mean! Didn't you read the part about his mom crying? If that isn't relevant to their learning, I don't know what is? If they can't just draw from any old memory and apply THAT as an example, what exactly are they supposed to do? It's like you expect them to THINK or something. :o)
ReplyDeleteOh, the entitlement. I love how he thinks his knowledge is better than yours. Why doesn't HE just teach the class then.
ReplyDeleteI was just dealing with final grades today and I discovered this particular fuckwit's fuckwittery managed to be the difference between a B and a C.
ReplyDeleteVICTORY IS MINE!!!
Have a Jack Daniels on me.
ReplyDelete