Sunday, April 8, 2012

You're not my customer.


Hey. HEY. Listen up, you little shits. Your tuition money does not pay for a guaranteed 'A'. You are NOT paying for your grade. Your grade is not a product that you're purchasing. This is not the service industry, and you are NOT my customer.

Listen carefully.

You are paying tuition for the OPPORTUNITY to EARN a degree, and to have your abilities evaluated by professionals who have the capacity and authority to do so. IF you PROVE your ability, you will be EVALUATED well, otherwise you will not. Society deserves to know, if a degree is being used as some kind of measuring stick to determine someone's value to the labor market.

Alright? I am here to present you with new knowledge, give you the means and opportunity to learn new skills, and then to assess how YOU perform in process. If you don't have what it takes (or, GASP, you're too lazy or self-entitled), well, that's too bad. The fact that you paid money doesn't mean a goddamn thing. You can't just pay money and get your degree.

FUCK.

16 comments:

  1. Misono Rottolepalle, tell the students that (or words to that effect.)

    Better they know now before they get in too deep.

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  2. I think I've found my new "Welcome to the class" message!

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  3. Another leftie. The only problem I have with the left graphic is it makes the post harder to read. If that's okay with the original poster, then that's cool. I understand why Fab tries to standardize stuff, including fonts, though.

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    1. I'm not sure MR's graphic would work as well on the right, because of the angle of the leaning head. Of course one could flip it, but then heaven knows what the characters would say (then again, heaven knows what they say now. I presume MR knows).

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  4. Yup, Misono! I like to use the analogy of going to a theme park, paying $50 to ride the big one and, instead, being given a certificate of completion without riding the big one because "I paid for it." Not at all satisfying or worthwhile. Of course, the analogy breaks down on multiple levels, but students don't often catch the fallacies at first. :o)

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  5. Wow, with this post and the previous post, there's an unholy amount of pent up anger being unleashed this Holy Weekend. Good to get it all out now as an act of rejuvenation.

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  6. Amen. Also analogous to a gym membership. You're paying for access and opportunity. What you do with it is up to you and no outcome is promised or guaranteed.

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    Replies
    1. That's a way better analogy than mine. I think I'll appropriate that, if you don't mind.

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    2. Yeah, the gym membership is a good one. Anything having to do with sports/physical culture works. Once upon a time paying for music lessons (but/and practicing or not) might have worked, but I fear that one is out of date, too (as would be a school metaphor for some other sphere of activity that requires effort and practice for success).

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  7. You can't just pay money and get your degree.

    Ever heard of DeVry?

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  8. No fooling! Tuition gives you a spectacular opportunity to learn a hell of a lot from a bunch of recognized experts. That's "opportunity". If all you want is a stamp on your forehead, buy your degree online.

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  9. I use the gym membership one all the time - I like the way it doesn't put all the onus on EITHER party. The gym has an obligation to provide safe, working machines and classes taught by qualified teachers, so if they don't do that, the client has rights and can complain etc. However, if the client wants to spend every visit in the coffee shop, they can't expect to be able to run a marathon or lose weight - I tell them that I can't do the workout for them, and it seems to make more sense than the customer model to them (my students are mostly just busy/distracted/coddled/in highschool habits, not actively trying to get something for nothing).

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  10. YES, YES, A THOUSAND TIMES YES.

    And if they don't like it, there's always U of Phoenix. Or ITT.

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