I happen to be one of those
lucky graduate students that must work to supplement their awesome TA salary.
Boy do I work. I am employed at a few CCs and large national for-profits, and
as we all know these last few weeks are the end of the semester at many institutions.
As my student's grades magically appear on their web-based campus platforms,
the phone starts ringing (curse the for profits for requiring a phone number be
given to students!) and the emails start pouring in.
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Dear Annoyed From Altoona, I hate you.
Smiley
Dear Smiley,
I apologize that you are so disgruntled with me, perhaps if you would have come to class with more than just you overbearingly white smile, you may have been able to pass this class. Without taking notes, doing the homework assignments, or taking your mid-term, you were destined to fail Hamster Society over the Years.
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Dear AFA,
Is a C really what I got in out class?
Is a C really what I got in out class?
Parroting Penelope
Dear Parroting Penelope,
Yes, a C is what you received in "out" class. Your final was terrible. In fact, for the three written portions on the test you just copied answers from the multiple choice section and called it an essay. I am not sure why you thought that the Hamster War could be about bigger wheels, no wheels at all, the invasion of other hamster nests, and the protection of the same hamster nests -- all four points are exclusive of one another. Furthermore, if only one of these points was the right answer to the MC question " What was the objective of the Hamster War?" how could they all be the objective of the war in your "essay?" On another note, the essay question was not about the objective of the Hamster War at all, but about the Hamster Maximus during the Hamster War. Since you really did not write anything that I had not already written on the test for you (three of which being wrong answers) I cannot give any credit for such answers. And yes, I did apply your extra credit for the book review you copied offline, but haven't had the time to find just where it came from yet. I figured 10/100 couldn't help you too much.
Love, AFA.
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Yes, a C is what you received in "out" class. Your final was terrible. In fact, for the three written portions on the test you just copied answers from the multiple choice section and called it an essay. I am not sure why you thought that the Hamster War could be about bigger wheels, no wheels at all, the invasion of other hamster nests, and the protection of the same hamster nests -- all four points are exclusive of one another. Furthermore, if only one of these points was the right answer to the MC question " What was the objective of the Hamster War?" how could they all be the objective of the war in your "essay?" On another note, the essay question was not about the objective of the Hamster War at all, but about the Hamster Maximus during the Hamster War. Since you really did not write anything that I had not already written on the test for you (three of which being wrong answers) I cannot give any credit for such answers. And yes, I did apply your extra credit for the book review you copied offline, but haven't had the time to find just where it came from yet. I figured 10/100 couldn't help you too much.
Love, AFA.
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::::RING!!! RING!!!::::
AFA: Hello?
Disturbed Dolly's Heinous Husband: Is this FA?
AFA: This is AFA, who is this?
DDHH: This is Distrubed Dolly's Husband, she is in your online class.
AFA: Sir, let me stop you right there -- due to FERPA regulations I cannot talk to you about your wife's class, unless she provides me with written proof.
DDHH: We don't have to talk about the class, we are going to talk about me kicking your ass for giving my wife an F in your class, she has worked so hard, has 7 pet hamsters to take care of, and needs to pay off her Oscar Meyer Wiener-mobile!
AFA: Sir, as everyone in your wife's class is aware of, I record all my conversations with students -- would you like to rephrase your threat?
DDHH: You fucking prick...
AFA: Hello?
Disturbed Dolly's Heinous Husband: Is this FA?
AFA: This is AFA, who is this?
DDHH: This is Distrubed Dolly's Husband, she is in your online class.
AFA: Sir, let me stop you right there -- due to FERPA regulations I cannot talk to you about your wife's class, unless she provides me with written proof.
DDHH: We don't have to talk about the class, we are going to talk about me kicking your ass for giving my wife an F in your class, she has worked so hard, has 7 pet hamsters to take care of, and needs to pay off her Oscar Meyer Wiener-mobile!
AFA: Sir, as everyone in your wife's class is aware of, I record all my conversations with students -- would you like to rephrase your threat?
DDHH: You fucking prick...
:::: CLICK::::
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Yay! summer is here, only 8 more classes until my 6 classes in the fall!
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Yay! summer is here, only 8 more classes until my 6 classes in the fall!
Ugh, I can't stand helicopter spouses, or helicopter anything for that matter.
ReplyDeleteI had to throw a helicopter husband out of my class one semester. Not fun, but admin was very supportive.
I hope your superiors are supportive. And for added measure, I would walk the tape recorded conversion over to campus pd and file a police report.
Some institutions would have campus pd escort you around campus following a threat like this. I would look into it if I were you, just for the sake of your own safety. (Assuming, of course, that they carry more than flash-lights which can be deadly in of themselves...)
Erm, better carry a pepper spray after that last one.
ReplyDeleteHow do you record phone conversations? I would love to be able to do that. I'm not very tech-savvy, but many a time have wished I had a physical record of some conversations.
ReplyDeleteBe careful about doing this.
DeleteAbout a dozen states in the US are "all-party consent" states, where it is illegal to record a phone conversation without the permission of all participants. If Annoyed From Altoona is in an all-party consent state, recording the conversation he had with DDHH would have been illegal.
Other states only require one party consent, which is also the minimum requirement under federal law.
@Defunct
DeleteIndeed. I call them "mob-sympathizing" states.
This is the result of electing questionable individuals as law makers.
Unless you're exaggerating, I'd take the conversation (whether it's your tape-recorded version or your paraphrase of what Helicopter Husband said is up to you) to your dean and to whoever's in charge of student conduct. File a formal complaint.
ReplyDeleteThere's a lot of stuff we have to put up with that's part of the job, but there's a lot of stuff we do not and SHOULD not put up with. Threats of physical violence fall into the second category. Don't just shrug and shine it on.
You've inspired me to lock myself out of the system after I submit grades.
ReplyDeleteTechnical suggestion to Annoyed: for schools that require you to give out a phone number, try Google Voice. It's free and it gives you a working phone number that you can redirect to your real phone.
ReplyDeleteThe advantage is that I can give out a working phone number to students and if any of them abuse it, I can hit one button and never hear from them again. From then on in, they'd get an "out of service" message. If it weren't for this, I'd NEVER give out a phone number to students, even grad students.
My students can also send me text messages via GV that don't cost me anything--they're re-directed to my email so I don't pay AT&T $0.20 per message.
GV can also let you record phone calls, but I don't know how it works since I've never used that feature. I imagine OP was only bluffing with the dipsh!t husband. I hope that situation works out well. Philip's right. Threats are not to be laughed off.
Confidential to Annoyed: Good luck. Stay safe.
Yes, Google Voice is excellent for this sort of situation. I also use it when I sell or buy on Craigslist, because I don't want every weirdo in the world to have my actual phone number.
DeleteI'm with Philip, although I'd take this one step further: contact campus public safety and the police in the municipality where Dolly lives.
ReplyDeleteDolly's husband may deny all he wants, but you should go on record as having said that the conversation happened. You don't know if this lunatic is already on the local PD's or campus security's radar.
Seriously, protect yourself in every way you can.
It's funny, but my telephone number has been on every syllabus for 10 years of teaching now. I get about one call per year, maybe two. This year, it's been three so far, despite a lighter load than in years past, so a shift might be underway. But overall, I haven't had this problem. Teaching online non-trads might be part of the reason.
ReplyDelete