|Big like Tingle; blurry like Cal.|
They do so many idiotic things, give such patently ridiculous excuses, shift blame for their fuckups to so many people.
But last night, at my brother-in-law's request, I watched three back to back episodes of A&E's "Parking Wars," a tv show about parking enforcement, car booters, and impound lot specialists.
What I discovered is that everyone is fucking stupid.
In these episodes there was such a torrent of idiots that I kept thinking it had to be a prank show. One guy parks his car in front of a hydrant, facing the wrong way, with two tires on the curb. The meter person was filling out the tickets when he returned and he said, "What the fuck are you doing? I just went in the restaurant to get a sandwich. Don't you see my blinkers on?"
One lady whose car got booted for excessive fines, came running out of the beauty salon and was asked, "Do you have any parking tickets on this car?" "No," she said. "I've never gotten a parking ticket."
When they followed up, she had over $1500 of tickets, and a glove box full of them.
And these are mostly adults. Some who hold babies on their hips and call the parking official "cocksuckers" and other quaint-ities.
One college student confronted a pleasant older man who was writing her a ticket and asked why she was getting one. "This whole block is no parking," he said, pointing at a sign right next to her car.
"I didn't see it. It's not my fault."
"There are 3 more signs on this block," the man said, pointing at them, all within easy sight of where the car was parked."
"You can't give me a ticket if I didn't see the signs. It's the city's fault. It's YOUR fault. I don't deserve to get a ticket."
Oh there were more, untold acts of complete braindead-edness. I felt a little better understanding why my students are so dumb, and a little worse realizing that everyone else was, too.