Which leads me here, seeking company via a (hopefully correctly titled) Thirsty:
Q: What's the most unprofessional thing you've done this semester?
Sunday, May 13, 2012
Weekend Thirsty
My cat has developed a paper-destroying habit. I recently had to return a pile of papers to students with teethmarks, missing corners, and clawing-perforations on about a quarter of the pieces, because I forgot to put the papers away in a box/zipped bag when away from my home desk. The students took it very well, fortunately, but I'm still cringing at the memory.
Which leads me here, seeking company via a (hopefully correctly titled) Thirsty:
Which leads me here, seeking company via a (hopefully correctly titled) Thirsty:
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You really ought to feed your cat more often.
ReplyDeleteI will say this: for 11 long years of grading, I always feared that one day I would return home to find that my dog had peed on papers that I would then have to return to students -- how, by copying them and getting pee on the copier? By hand writing my comments separately? I was always extra extra careful about storing exams and essays because of this fear.
ReplyDeleteNow that my dog passed away peacefully, just last month, this is the first term where that is no longer a concern. I did it! Never a peed-on paper.
Oh pets. How they fill our lives.
So sorry to hear about the loss of your dog, AM. I couldn't get by without my furry kids.
DeleteIs it really unprofessional to return gnawed-upon papers? Or is it the height of professionalism. I'd say it may be a compliment. "Here are your papers. You'll notice that my cat, at least, was a fan of your writing. She found them quite crunchy and full of flavor."
ReplyDeleteA beloved, very erudite high school Latin teacher once returned a test that had mysteriously developed a tan, crackly stiffness. His note: "Ignosce--non papyri, sed caffes!"
ReplyDeleteIt's nice to know that these people you venerate so are human too.
I have, on one or two ocassions, walked into class underprepared. As in "I haven't actually looked at the readings I assigned, except for 10 minutes of skimming just now" and "I have a topic for this class but no idea what I actually want to talk about". In one case I was rescued by the fact that the students hadn't done the readings either, so I hypocritically lectured them about the importance of preparation and spent some time talking about supplemental/context issues. In a few cases, I've pulled out 'set piece' theme lectures that I really don't have to prepare -- still material they should know, and more advanced, often, than the textbook materials -- but that were only weakly connected to the material I probably should have covered.
ReplyDeleteBut it's been a hell of a semester, really. I don't feel all that bad about it. If they were paying attention, they'd still have learned something.
One of my cats once had diarrhea on a student's blue book, but I liked the student so I didn't give it back.
ReplyDeleteOne of my cats likes to sleep on papers. She'll often leave paw prints. I tell the lucky students that she was offering up peer edits.
ReplyDeleteI did something really bad, earlier this year. I had a student who was an arrogant, disruptive pain all term. He was late to class, missed a lot, clueless about the attrocious quality of his work, and demanding of special exceptions to pretty much everything. He earned a D and, no surprise, he came into my office and went into a tirade about his final grade. I could have stood my ground, but then the break would have been sullied by the knowledge that I'd have to deal with him and his complaint when I got back.
I asked what he wanted for a grade. He said a B. I told him fine. I will GIVE you a B. It is a gift, because you didn't earn it. In exchange, I never want to see or hear from you again.
I felt slimy primarily because I didn't feel all that awful about it.
I will GIVE you a B. It is a gift, because you didn't earn it. In exchange, I never want to see or hear from you again.
DeleteI know someone who had this happen to them. He hadn't asked for a higher grade, but just went in for the grade discussion that was part of finishing up the course. The prof told him, essentially, "You deserve a C in HAM 101, but if you promise not to enroll in my section of HAM 102, I'll give you a B. Deal?"
In the same vein... I use a canvas Old Navy bag as my "brief case". It's something a 6th grade might use as a school bag. I'm also always running late and wind up grabbing all kinds of needless crap in the panic as I run out the door. I threw a stack of tests, a pen and two gigantic old textbooks in there on the way to office hours. The two giant books were to grab last minute questions to finish a test I forgot to write because I'm too disorganized. On the way a pen exploded, under the weight of the books, on three takehome tests. Two were salvageable, one was so bad that if challenged, I wouldn't be able to prove it was the test at all or that I hadn't lost it.
ReplyDeleteNo pets. However, I have on occasion returned assignments where one of my kids got a pen or pencil and performed a number of doodles on them. Another assignment had half a page reduced to confetti.
ReplyDeleteNot this semester, but when in grad school, a hellish Florida summer storm popped up right before class and I had to bike in. I had no parking pass. My students' papers were soaked as they were being carried in a canvas satchel. I ended up copying them and returning them. Then, I bought a waterproof messenger bag.
ReplyDeleteA few semesters back, my ancient, incontinent cat peed on a stack of student projects. Think: paper adhered to foam core. I brought them in, but advised them not to take them for sanitary reasons. But I at least wanted them to know that I had actually graded them. Oh, the smell.
Postponed committee work so long I caused research delays for others. I wasn't trying to mess with them. I really wasn't. I just hated doing the committee work amd kept putting it off.
ReplyDeleteBut you weren't unprofessional. Your cat was!
ReplyDeleteMy dog peed in my bag that was full of my students papers because they were in there. Oh yeah. Dog pissy papers for the win.
ReplyDeleteTHIS!!! This was my fear for ages. Whatever did you do?? Take pictures, print them out, and grade that?
DeleteHow about wanting to punch a colleague's smarmy face, when he suggested that I teach another general-ed class of 100 so the department can pay for his program for 5 students per year, tops? Don't worry, I didn't punch him, but I did tell him that if he thought I was going to agree to this, he's out of his mind.
ReplyDeleteNot this semester, but when I was a TA, the other TAs and I would get together near the end of the semester at a nice restaurant that had 1/2 price drinks and coordinate our grading scales for the final papers. One time we were there, a bit drunk, stacks of papers on the table, reading aloud some particularly awful lines, and in walks one of our students and her parents. I don't think this was particularly unprofessional, and if it was I don't particularly care, but those parents sure had a look on their faces!
ReplyDeleteWhen I was an undergraduate, there was a minor kerfuffle over a grad student who was photographed grading in a *coffee house* (this was before coffee houses were ubiquitous, and franchised). Some students (and, eventually, parents) felt that he couldn't possibly be concentrating well enough in such a noisy atmosphere to give the papers due attention. I can't remember what happened, but there was some sympathy for the critical point of view. Times have definitely changed.
DeleteI don't think that that was unprofessional. Cats do that sometimes. I doubt the students cared. I once stuffed a bunch of papers into a bag with a banana, which immediately got smooshed into the papers. I joked about it when I handed the students their papers, and they joked back. It happens.
ReplyDeleteYou should have claimed that your own teeth and claws did the damage - as a warning. "Next time I will turn my fangs on YOU!"
ReplyDeleteThe statute of limitations won't expire for a couple of years. And what I did is so uniquely wrong-headed if any of the three people I told read this, I would be immediately outed.
ReplyDeleteI got pretty sick early in the semester and just never caught up. I held onto essays too long mid-semester, got them back in a timely manner during the second half, and just never, ever gave back their journals.
ReplyDeleteWhat's even worse is that a big part of me doesn't give a tea-partying fig. Students never asked for them. They're not graded, except for credit points. I read them, but ultimately no one seemed to care.
Oh, and I had a cat who loved to shred essays, too. I have a current cat who likes to sleep on them. I've returned many essays through the years with coffee rings on them.
ReplyDeleteI've never had pets pee on student work, but I do applaud the editorial judgment of some of the clever pets owned by posters in this thread.
I've had cats pee on various things, some of which I valued far more than student papers, but not, that I can remember, student papers. There was one cat who liked to use my father's computer keyboard (and the drip pans below the coils in the -- cooled -- electric stove), but I think that was an arthritis-driven desire for some way of propping her rear end above puddle-level rather than a commentary on the objects involved.
ReplyDeleteThe most unprofessional thing I did this semester was to get behind on grading. But really, it's the very rare semester when I don't. In order for me to be fully "professional" in this sense, I either need to turn over my entire life to my job, or my institution needs to cut my course load back to the significantly lighter one my professional association recommends. Although I do feel bad about not giving students feedback as promptly as would be most useful for them, I'm not sure I feel entirely "unprofessional" for failing to keep up with an unreasonable workload.
I've gone to two due dates for major assignments: one date for those who want detailed comments, and a later one for those who just want a grade. About ten percent go for the detail option. It speeds things up significantly.
ReplyDelete