Why, yes, I see that you are shocked and dismayed by your C+, and you
believe that because you worked very hard, even showing me a rough draft TWO WHOLE DAYS before the final paper was due, that you should get a
better grade. Obviously I have no idea how to do my job, because you, a
first-year student, clearly know better than I do what constitutes a
good paper.Who cares if you didn't actually follow the guidelines of the assignment and just made shit up? Believe it or not, we don't just hand out grades like candy. You earned the grade you got. And no, I don't believe that a C+ in my class is going to get you expelled. Perhaps you should look at your work in your other classes, as well.
So, how about you STFU and just accept that you fucked up and maybe next time you should actually pay attention to what you should be doing, instead of wandering into class 10 minutes late when you do show up, and then doing everything at the last minute.
I'm sick, and I'm tired, and I just don't feel like dealing with your whiny entitled crap today.
No hugs,
A. Drag
Hey! Whiney was in my class. What's he doing in yours?
ReplyDeleteFurther proof that we are all just 4 profs at Miami U.: he's in mine too!
ReplyDeleteI was going to make a joke about having the same student, but then I saw that Wayworn Wanderer and Frog and Toad had beat me to it. Seriously, what is this kid, an archetype? He was in two of my classes last semester, and in one of them, he was a girl.
ReplyDelete"He" is a "she," and she's in MY class, and wants to be a nurse.
ReplyDeleteAnytime I get students sniveling that the C or D they made in my class will get them expelled, my response is that if it does, they have other problems, since one C or D does not an expulsion make.
Anytime I get students sniveling that the F they made in my class will get them expelled, my response is, "GOOD. I HOPE IT DOES!"
But of course, I can say that, since have tenure. Back before I did, at least I did think it.
"Obviously I have no idea how to do my job, because you, a first-year student, clearly know better than I do what constitutes a good paper."
I was told not to talk to people like this when I wanted something fixed when I was in 9th grade. If memory serves, it was illustrated with the old saying, "You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar."
When I was in the U.S. Navy, we had a saying: don't hassle your detailer. A detailer is a sailor, not necessarily of high rank, whose job it is to fill jobs that the Navy needs. Don't hassle your detailer: if you do, you'll get a set of orders you wouldn't believe, such as clean-up crew in Thule, Greenland. (You can find a date there behind every tree.)
They so often want to be nurses, for some terrifying reason. . . .
DeletePart of it may be that they do know that there's no way they'll ever become physicians.
DeleteGo Navy! My favorite quote from my favorite Chief (HMC) was "you can't polish a turd!", which also has broad implications in higher education
DeleteAnd my favorite CPO (an AMHC) liked to say:
Delete"you can't make chicken salad out of chicken shit..."
Ah yes, back when I was a nuke, our Chief of the Boat had a number of pithy sayings. One of his best was:
Delete"Goddamnmotherfuckin'douchebag!"
Of course, every sailor knows it's the chiefs that make the Navy what it is today.
Damn straight.
DeleteShe was in my class, too! And she made it damn clear that it was MY fault she failed!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteSorry: horrific typo could not be allowed to stand in my earlier comment. :o)
ReplyDeleteThis is why I'm withholding grades (they're entered, but I'm not having them show up for students to see) until students have left campus next week. I'd rather they waste my time on email after they've left (where I can ignore their whining) than in person while I try to grade final projects and exams. Yes, this will come back to 'bite me' on my evals, but I don't care.
I want to respond with: "You might want to talk with me about your GRADE, but I want to talk with you about your abysmal writing and lack of critical thinking. If you cared more about your thinking and writing than your grade, you'd at least be going in the right direction. As it is, if all you want to talk about is 'your grade,' simply to bully me into changing it, then turn right around and leave. Now, while you're at least getting a C."
Let's see:
ReplyDeleteThe student didn't follow the guidelines for the assignment.
The student didn't do any of the preliminary work needed to do a good job.
The student didn't use any sources and just made up hir "facts."
The student can't be bothered to come to class on time if at all.
The student can't write hir way out of a wet paper bag.
Why is it, again, that you gave this student a fuckin' C-plus? How about an F, dude?
Oh, yes, what makes this even more awesome was that this was a team-graded, someone-else's rubric course based on a "portfolio", and since the student fulfilled SOME of the requirements (i.e. mostly used words and sentences, and printed them on paper, not candy wrappers or rolling papers) and squeaked by on the earlier assignments building up to the final paper,they got a C+ in the class(for Crap work plus Crappier effort).
DeleteJust another reason to dream of tenure. And autonomy. And oh, yah, after this I am NEVER TEACHING THIS CLASS AGAIN, and in fact am NEVER TEACHING IN THIS PROGRAM AGAIN. FREEDOM!!!!!
Not that it will make the entitled whiners go away, of course.
Wait, A. Drag, you are me, right? I'm in THE SAME SITUATION right now! I'm also wondering why I'm being evaluated on a class I'm never teaching again for a program I won't be part of again. I suppose the freedom is reward enough.
DeleteMail a nailbomb to the frigging kid's parents.
ReplyDeleteOr his girlfriend.
I don't care anymore.
WHY, for the love of french toast, do they always want to come TALK after the fact? Why can't they come talk when it's time to talk? Why the talking after the grade is submitted? Have they really gone through life pretty much getting their grades changed that they think this is the protocol in college? I am putting a clause in my already-massive syllabus about this. In fact, I might need help with wording from y'all.
ReplyDeleteHow about what my old chief used to say:
Delete"Goddamnmotherfuckin'douchebag!"
Frod, that'll work in my syllabus. :o)
Delete... and then the medical ones continue on and they don't understand WHY prescribing the wrong medication is a wrong answer and does not get credit. Of course I am wrong. I know nothing. I forgot.
ReplyDeleteSometimes students make me want to crawl under my bed and not come back out.
Just so you know, Cal, this baby seriously freaks me out. I want to print this out and post it on my door.
ReplyDelete