When it comes time to decide the course schedule for next semester:
Best: “I am willing to teach a mix of upper level and service-oriented courses. While I certainly have preferences about scheduling, I am willing to negotiated with my colleagues to insure that we have a wide distribution of classes throughout the day.”
Fair: “I have several courses that I teach over and over. They serve some basic requirements of the department.”
Bad: “I will only teach classes between the hours of nine and noon. Teaching a survey class is clearly beneath my intellectual talents. Besides, I have a political obligation to offer an incredibly narrow graduate course that only appeals to two students every year.”
Evil: “My class enrollment is by instructor permission only. That way I can make sure that only hot, fit students ever sign up. No fatties!”
When serving on a masters thesis or dissertation committee:
Best: “I read the entire thesis/dissertation. My goal is to provide strategies for the student to revise the work to the best of hir abilities.”
Fair: “I read the entire thesis/dissertation. My goal is to get this over with as soon as possible.”
Bad: “I read some of the thesis/dissertation. My goal is to show that I personally know a lot more about this particular topic than the student.”
Evil: “I plagiarized several chapters of this thesis/dissertation. Nonetheless, I will still vote to fail the student just because I can.”
and one that should be especially popular with readers of this blog:
During the summer:
Best: “I drink a lot.”
Fair: “I drink a lot.”
Bad: “I drink a lot.”
Evil: “I drink a lot.”
The whole, quite extensive list, accompanied by some cool excerpts from Wonder Woman cartoons, a picture of Pope Benedict XVI, and another of a rattlesnake (it all makes sense in context) can be found here.
thanks for posting this - I read the entire article and its great!
ReplyDeleteOne advantage of being an astronomer is that they know that if they give me any classes before noon, the astronomy research program that they like because it involves students and brings in funding grinds to a halt.
ReplyDeleteDepartment Chairs can be taught this. Deans cannot, however. When I served as department Chair, whenever I'd get an 8, 9, or 10 a.m. meeting, I'd show up having been up all night the night before. If I had to run these meetings, they'd always be brief and to the point, since I'd be in no mood for any crap.