As far as I can tell, mine doesn't bother to justify. (S)he just does what (s)he pleases, and no one objects (experiences of TT faculty, who generally seem to have a somewhat more positive view of said Dean, appear to vary).
"Well, we just don't understand why you need that position. No one else at the university has a Hamster Fur Manager. So we're not going to fund it," he says, after being given an extensive and detailed report explaining exactly why said position is essential to highly successful project's continued success.
"You probably won't get an offer. However, if you do get an offer, I'm not going to negotiate. If you don't like our offer, we'll just find someone who does."
I came in one day, and poof! My program was gone. So I was a program coordinator of a program that didn't exist (hey I wasn't going to give up a title!). It took me a year and a half to get the program re-instated. And the program has good enrollment and a good relationship with businesses in the community. The only thing I do is make the dean look good.
"We don't have to tell you when your contract will be renewed."
I wish I'd been in the position to fire back:
"Fine. Then next year I'll be working somewhere else."
That was when I was an Accursed Visiting Assistant Professor. Since I got on the tenure track, things improved, particularly since I got a couple of deans who genuinely supported involving students in research.
It's great fun whenever I get an observing run on Mauna Kea. During a good budget year (admittedly, those have been scarce recently), I can mosey right into the dean's office, look him straight in the eye, and say, "I need some money to take some students observing. We HAVE to go to Hawai'i." You should see the look on his face, it's great.
Nevertheless, even the most well-meaning dean can have serious trouble understanding that astronomical observations need to be done at night. If we invite the parents and the alumni to the Campus Observatory before sunset, which I can easily compute, they will be disappointed, since there won't be anything for them to see, at least not through the telescope.
Solar observing with the Campus Observatory is out of the question. That requires specialized equipment, and trying it with our Campus Observatory would result in the parents and the alumni being blinded instantly. I will confess to having tried mounting a solar telescope on the covered telescope in our Campus Observatory. It did not work: the aluminum skin of the dome made it quite literally like sitting in a frying pan. Solar observing requires specialized equipment, from the get-go.
More than one dean has suggested to an astronomer to put an observatory on the roof of an academic building. They think it's such a clever idea, since no one else wants that real estate anyway, and they thought it up all by themselves. They have to be let down gently, since the roof of an academic building is usually a terrible place for an observatory. Few buildings that aren't purpose-built for the task are reinforced with enough concrete to dampen vibrations sufficiently: you take a class of students up there, and the views through telescopes will shake and bounce around like there's a herd of elephants. There's also the concept of astronomical "seeing," which deans can never understand. (If you don’t know what it is, it isn’t what you think it is.)
Another idea that I've had to disabuse a dean of diplomatically is to set up a TV in the library to display live images, as they're made with the telescope. Again, this won't really work. Those spectacular color images everyone loves don't come that way straight out of the camera: but then, teaching students how to process them is a major benefit of studying astronomy. Live images have another problem: they're usually made late at night, when the library is closed. A TV displaying canned images during the day is fine, but then, I could have some nice posters printed up for less money.
Here's the best part: if I can manage to pry loose $50k (a big "if" there), I've been thinking of building a small solar observatory on the roof of our science building. It would be great for involving students in research since the observations would be done during a time of day when normal people are awake, and again, it would be good for fostering computer skills. Now I have to explain to the dean why everything I told him is now wrong, again. I can hardly wait.
P.S. This solar observatory would be a robot, run by a computer in my lab. Three specialized solar telescopes would be bundled together and housed in a RoboDome, which is big enough for a telescope, but not for a person. The only time we'd ever go up to the roof would be to do maintenance. Solar observing is hot work.
Many years ago, I was working in at a university where the dean's response to a budget crisis was to put all academic staff who were not tenured on 2 week contracts. How this solved the budget problems was never clear to me.
Another uni offered me a 6 month contract, which was a step up from the 2-week thing, and when I gave the Dean my resignation, he boggled that I would give up "job security". Years and years later, I am still WTF over that one.
This after (s)he admitted that his/her secretary had signed his/her signature to letters which were worded in such a way that they took tenure away from tenured faculty members.
As far as I can tell, mine doesn't bother to justify. (S)he just does what (s)he pleases, and no one objects (experiences of TT faculty, who generally seem to have a somewhat more positive view of said Dean, appear to vary).
ReplyDelete"Well, we just don't understand why you need that position. No one else at the university has a Hamster Fur Manager. So we're not going to fund it," he says, after being given an extensive and detailed report explaining exactly why said position is essential to highly successful project's continued success.
ReplyDeleteDuring a job interview:
ReplyDelete"You probably won't get an offer. However, if you do get an offer, I'm not going to negotiate. If you don't like our offer, we'll just find someone who does."
The Dean was right though. I didn't get an offer.
"Don't shoot!"
ReplyDeletePulled the trigger anyway.
Nothing.
ReplyDeleteI came in one day, and poof! My program was gone. So I was a program coordinator of a program that didn't exist (hey I wasn't going to give up a title!). It took me a year and a half to get the program re-instated. And the program has good enrollment and a good relationship with businesses in the community. The only thing I do is make the dean look good.
Go figure.
"I've already won two grievances over this."
ReplyDeleteProfessor Ben, I appreciate your advice regarding this sensitive matter. Guess what - it worked!
ReplyDelete"Really, this will be better for you in the long run."
ReplyDelete"We don't have to tell you when your contract will be renewed."
ReplyDeleteI wish I'd been in the position to fire back:
"Fine. Then next year I'll be working somewhere else."
That was when I was an Accursed Visiting Assistant Professor. Since I got on the tenure track, things improved, particularly since I got a couple of deans who genuinely supported involving students in research.
It's great fun whenever I get an observing run on Mauna Kea. During a good budget year (admittedly, those have been scarce recently), I can mosey right into the dean's office, look him straight in the eye, and say, "I need some money to take some students observing. We HAVE to go to Hawai'i." You should see the look on his face, it's great.
Nevertheless, even the most well-meaning dean can have serious trouble understanding that astronomical observations need to be done at night. If we invite the parents and the alumni to the Campus Observatory before sunset, which I can easily compute, they will be disappointed, since there won't be anything for them to see, at least not through the telescope.
Solar observing with the Campus Observatory is out of the question. That requires specialized equipment, and trying it with our Campus Observatory would result in the parents and the alumni being blinded instantly. I will confess to having tried mounting a solar telescope on the covered telescope in our Campus Observatory. It did not work: the aluminum skin of the dome made it quite literally like sitting in a frying pan. Solar observing requires specialized equipment, from the get-go.
More than one dean has suggested to an astronomer to put an observatory on the roof of an academic building. They think it's such a clever idea, since no one else wants that real estate anyway, and they thought it up all by themselves. They have to be let down gently, since the roof of an academic building is usually a terrible place for an observatory. Few buildings that aren't purpose-built for the task are reinforced with enough concrete to dampen vibrations sufficiently: you take a class of students up there, and the views through telescopes will shake and bounce around like there's a herd of elephants. There's also the concept of astronomical "seeing," which deans can never understand. (If you don’t know what it is, it isn’t what you think it is.)
Another idea that I've had to disabuse a dean of diplomatically is to set up a TV in the library to display live images, as they're made with the telescope. Again, this won't really work. Those spectacular color images everyone loves don't come that way straight out of the camera: but then, teaching students how to process them is a major benefit of studying astronomy. Live images have another problem: they're usually made late at night, when the library is closed. A TV displaying canned images during the day is fine, but then, I could have some nice posters printed up for less money.
Here's the best part: if I can manage to pry loose $50k (a big "if" there), I've been thinking of building a small solar observatory on the roof of our science building. It would be great for involving students in research since the observations would be done during a time of day when normal people are awake, and again, it would be good for fostering computer skills. Now I have to explain to the dean why everything I told him is now wrong, again. I can hardly wait.
P.S. This solar observatory would be a robot, run by a computer in my lab. Three specialized solar telescopes would be bundled together and housed in a RoboDome, which is big enough for a telescope, but not for a person. The only time we'd ever go up to the roof would be to do maintenance. Solar observing is hot work.
DeleteMany years ago, I was working in at a university where the dean's response to a budget crisis was to put all academic staff who were not tenured on 2 week contracts. How this solved the budget problems was never clear to me.
DeleteAnother uni offered me a 6 month contract, which was a step up from the 2-week thing, and when I gave the Dean my resignation, he boggled that I would give up "job security". Years and years later, I am still WTF over that one.
"These people [the staff who input employment information] don't understand these things [my resume]."
ReplyDelete"Ah! I am so glad you shared your concerns about this project with me. Now let me help you understand this issue in a different way...."
ReplyDelete"You have no idea how hard my job is!"
ReplyDeleteThis after (s)he admitted that his/her secretary had signed his/her signature to letters which were worded in such a way that they took tenure away from tenured faculty members.
"You're racist!"
Second thing said to me on a job interview.
I hope I get fired so I can collect unemployment benefits. ( It didn't work--he had to resign with no unemployment benefits.) Heh-heh
ReplyDelete"I want to resign, but I would really like to be fired so that I can collect unemployment benefits."
ReplyDelete"Your work is its own reward."
ReplyDeleteI wish I had fired back:
"So give me your paycheck!"
We are at a Christian school and it wouldn't be Christ-like to discipline or fire this individual over hir not doing hir job.
ReplyDelete