Me: Which one? I teach four sections.
Snowy: The 8:00-8:50 class.
Me: I don’t teach that section.
Snowy: Okay, when do you teach?
Me: I have Hamster Psychology 101 at 9, 10, 11 and 1, but my 9 and 10 classes are full.
Snowy: Okay, so can I sign up for the 11:00?
So I sign him up and twenty minutes later he comes back.
Snowy: I have to take Biology at 11:00 so I need to get into the 9:00 or 10:00 class.
Me: Those classes are full
Snowy: But I have to work in the afternoon so I need the 9:00 or 10:00 class.
Me: (WTF? I don’t give a shit about your work schedule.) Those classes are full. I do not over enroll my classes. Furthermore, there are NO SEATS. (Literally, there are not enough seats because in my 9 and 10 o’clock classes which are in the same room, someone stole one of the tables. And what part of NO did you not understand? Oh silly me, I forgot that you are part of the Trophy Generation, no one has ever told you NO. No means it ain't gonna happen, not even with six more stupid, unrelated reasons, and Thank Jebus the class is full because I so don't want you in there.)
What I didn’t tell him is that I don’t over enroll my classes because the administration does not pay me extra to do extra work (though they will gladly reduce my pay if a class is “under-enrolled.") If I over enroll then it is my own stupid fault.
Of course when I was untenured I was “encouraged” to over enroll because as a CC we have a high drop rate, so it all evens out. Except that it doesn’t; I do all the work and the college gets all the money.
The other thing is that I don’t like to enroll students late to class in general. Even though I don’t cover that much on the first day, the college wide data has shown that students who sign up late have a very high drop/fail/withdraw rate. Well, duh. They didn’t have their shit together to register on time, why would they have their shit together for the class. But we are “encouraged” to sign students up late so as "not to impede their academic success" and more likely to get their money.
- Academic Charlotte Anne