[+]
Wusup Mr.F, Im Pierre I Goin To Have Your Class This Fall Term....And I Wanted To Know Wat Basic Things We're Goin To Learn In Terms Of Wat Books To Get, Wat Should I Prepair Myself To Buy? And The Way You Teach! I Really Want To Know If Your The Exciment Type Of Your Jus The Stand In The Middle Of The Class Room And Leture Type...Please Inform Me, I Like To Get To Know Wat Kind Of Teacher You Are
How does one respond to this? I would be tempted to just ignore it and let the student figure things out on his own.
ReplyDeletePierre. Given Your Propensity To Capitalize Every Word You Write, Along With Your Failure To Separate Sentences Or Spell Correctly, I Believe That I Am The Sort Of Professor That Would Fail You On Any Writing Assignments For Sheer Annoying Stupidity. You See How Annoying It Is To Read When Every Word Is Capitalized? How Aboat Wen Haf The Words R Spelled Like A Kindergardner Wood Spell Them?
ReplyDeletePlease Do Yourself A Favor And Stay Away From My Class.
Someone Obviously Told Pierre That Professors Like It When You Use Capitol Letters.
ReplyDeletePierre isn't a tool. Pierre is a dickhead.
ReplyDeleteI would respond to this e-mail by telling this fool that I can't understand this message. I'd also say: please rewrite this message with standard spelling, grammar, and usage, and I will do my best to answer your questions. If you're wondering what kind of professor I am, that would be one who gives low grades to students who are sloppy and thoughtless.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteYou respond like so:
ReplyDeleteHello, Pierre!
I see you are indeed on my roster for the fall. You ask a great many important questions. My office hours for the fall are: (insert office hours here). That would be a great time for you to come and spend all the time you need asking me any questions you like.
Yours Truly,
Professor Full Name
You won't see Pierre in your office. If he doesn't want to take the time to spell his email to you properly, he certainly doesn't want to take the time to actually talk to you
Oh man. Tell him that he should "prepair" himself to spend at least $500 on the books for your class, and that your preferred method of instruction is to read aloud from the phonebook.
ReplyDeleteOy! I'd be tempted to forward this one to the head admissions officer with an accompanying WTF?!? at the top, but that depends on whether your admissions office has a sense of humor (and maybe not after you've forwarded to CM).
ReplyDeleteOtherwise, Stella's response (perhaps with an added mention of the bookstore) sounds like a good one to me. My only fear is that Pierre might turn out to be the type who actually does want lots and lots of attention, and so might become a too-regular participant in your office hours. He sounds a bit full of himself. To reinforce the idea that you're not at his beck and call, especially not before the term starts, I'd also suggest waiting a few days to answer. I also might add a P.S. about appreciating all good-faith attempts to use standard punctuation and spelling in emails to teachers, since they are formal communications (a slightly kinder version of Frod's response). With any luck that will convince him that you're a horrible, mean, stick-in-the-mud, no-fun teacher, and he'll drop. That, I think, is your goal; Pierre sounds like a potentially serious time-suck, and also a potential disruptor of class discussions. I suppose somebody has to teach him, but I'm not sure it has to be you.
Oh. Good. Heavens.
ReplyDeleteI agree with marginalia; in addition to quoting a price of $500 for books:
--I would tell Pierre that I was the PI on research into Boring Teaching Methods.
--I would claim to be the author of "Fun Things to Do During a Boring Lecture" (http://www.avaruusmies.com/jokes/english/118.html), written in response to pleas on my course evaluations
And so on....
Be afraid. Be very afraid.
ReplyDeleteI would respond with an eighteen-page email response comprised of multiple cut and pastes of your syllabus for the course, philosophies of teaching, ramblings about theory... anything that comes to mind.
ReplyDeleteI would respond with an eighteen-page email response comprised of multiple cut and pastes of your syllabus for the course, philosophies of teaching, ramblings about theory... anything that comes to mind.
ReplyDeleteAnd repetition.
DeleteLots of repetition.
I see wat you did there...
Delete