Once upon a time, on the campus in the far reaches of Academia-land worked Papa Paul. Papa Paul was witty and funny. He readily added students to his already-full Hamster Scribbling for Beginners classes and spent the majority of class time talking about the drama on "Dancing with the Stars" and the antics of the Kardashian clan. He was companionable, he gently mocked students' foibles, and he never expected more of them than he was willing to put out.
Reading Ahead of Time? Only if you want to do it.
Assignments? Heck, no, he'd just have to grade them.
Quizzes? Open book, of course, then grade them in class & tell him your score.
Essays? Strictly pictorial or oral. If you must turn something in, do it on a Post-It note.
Attendance? Only if you have something interesting to share from last night's TV lineup.
Facebook in class? The preferable mode of participation.
And the students loved Papa Paul. They loved him so much that they transferred out of other classes to sign up for Papa Paul's classes. They loved him so much that they crowded into his classrooms and larger rooms had to be found. Papa Paul turned no one away because Papa Paul loved to be loved.
The love of Papa Paul's life, however, were not his students. The love of Papa Paul's life was Toddler Ty. Toddler Ty demanded a lot of attention from Papa Paul. Toddler Ty refused to go to Day Care, for one thing, and Toddler Ty refused to stay home with his stay-at-home mama. Toddler Ty cried and cried and begged Papa Paul not to leave him at home, so Papa Paul brought Toddler Ty to work with him all week. And when this became a problem for Papa Paul (Toddler Ty probably shouldn't have been allowed to play alone in the Photo Lab), he flattered and cajoled and begged the chair for a different schedule that would allow him to teach during Toddler Ty's naptime. And when the chair balked, he claimed that Toddler Ty has a disability (one that is yet undiagnosed, but which will require diagnosis). And because Papa Paul was loved by all, the chair agreed to have someone take over his two morning sections of Hamster Scribbling for Beginners and gave him two sections of online classes that begin later in the quarter.
And this is how the Contemplative Cynic ended up teaching two extra sections of Hamster Scribbling for Beginners classes that are twice the size they should be.
This is how the Contemplative Cynic came to be hated by two extra sections of classes that are twice the size they should be.
This is how the Contemplative Cynic came to hate Papa Paul and the weak-spined chair who caved in to Papa Paul.
This is how the Contemplative Cynic came to be searching for a job outside of Academia-land. And no one lived happily ever after.