Saturday, September 22, 2012

The Crazy Clause.....


I swear someone has snuck a crazy clause into the contract.  I haven’t found it yet, but think it reads, “Faculty will attempt to teach all students regardless of their level of reality and intake of medication."

I have students with paperwork for various issues.  Okay, fine, I can deal.  On the other hand, one had no paperwork, but informs me that they are on medication.  I tell them where to go to get paperwork.  At this point, the student then decides to roll around on the tiled floor and treat me to a TMI session!  Do I need to know how you feel about your family?  No, I don't.  Professional to the end, I offer some non-binding murmurs of sympathy, grab my books, and tell the white lie of having to get to a meeting.  

Am I running a psychiatric clinic?…The powers that be can kiss my asterisk regarding the customer service model.  That incident showed me I don’t teach---I babysit.  The inmates really are running the asylum. When I find that crazy clause in my contract, it’s getting stricken out.  They really don’t pay me enough to deal with things like this.

10 comments:

  1. You aren't qualified to deal with things like this, either. The next time something like this happens, call security.

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  2. I'm glad the seriously mentally ill are no longer locked up in asylums, but the places they've landed instead -- the streets and, yes, in the case of the relatively young and relatively well-supported, sometimes our classrooms -- are not really an improvement.

    I've said it before and I'll say it again: someone who is not able, psychologically, intellectually, and/or interpersonally, to hold down an entry-level job probably does not belong in a college classroom. While I sympathize with the motives of parents, therapists, etc. who envision the college classroom as a safe, supportive place in which to place their charges while those charges (they hope) make progress toward more normal functioning, I fear that there's a certain amount of denial and/or putting off facing the severity of the problem involved.

    Besides, colleges (and individual proffies) are too overburdened to serve as part of the safety net for this population. We have a very flexible, forgiving higher ed system, which allows entry (and re-entry) at a variety of ages and stages. I strongly support that, and am proud to be part of it. But there needs to be a tradeoff: students need to come to college when they are ready, and have the time, to learn, and to withdraw and take care of other business when they aren't.

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    Replies
    1. Exactly! If one cannot serve fries with a meal without a mental breakdown, what makes a parent think this individual will be able to keep up with the demands of HIGHER education?

      Are colleges and universities now the equivalent of a halfway house?

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  3. The thing is, universities actually are excellent, supportive places for certain types who don't fit in well in other institutional or social contexts -- nerds, geeks, high-functioning misfits, obsessives, exhibitionists, overthinkers, neurotics -- so it makes sense that the structure and focus of college would be helpful and appropriate to a lot of people with unbalance issues.

    And, given the newer status of college as "job training," a lot of people who should be having more focused rehab, or who have just run out of insurance money for focused rehab, end up giving us a try.

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  4. Always be careful with students like this. As the counselors at my college constantly remind us, we're not trained mental health experts. Any time a student seems to be going into counseling territory, send the student there immediately. A proffie here was already sued for allegedly providing "bad advice." That will probably get thrown out, but until it does, his life has become a series of depositions, threats from the student, and police escorts to and from his car.

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  5. Literally rolling around on the floor?
    That's sick.
    Please a picture of hir next time. Or video. Cal could incorporate the video into his next vidshizzle.

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  6. Yes, literally rolling around on the floor. On the plus side, hir has been in class since and appears to be acting in a more normal fashion. I still have no paperwork for their purported condition, despite giving them the appropriate information...

    The video would have been great, especially if Cal could freeze it and then loop it in reverse so they could do a shake in time to a backbeat.

    I love the graphic for this post! Kudos, as always, to the moderator!

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    Replies
    1. OMG! Campus security, for SURE! And no, I've felt this way more and more over the years: I am NOT equipped to deal with this, and while our campus has made a few attempts to have Counselors give talks to faculty on a few ways to help, I am NOT equipped to deal with this. And nor should I, or you, or any other professor, be!!! It's INSANE!

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