Seriously: are we just babysitters now? THREE of the children (I will not call them adults because they are not behaving as such) out of 18 in my class, started to cry today because they had (a) forgotten to do the assignment; (b) did not understand the assignment, so hadn't done it; and (c) had done the assignment, but weren't sure if they'd done it correctly. Yes: THREE people boo-hoo-ing in my 11 o'clock class when I announced that the assignment was due. Crying. Out loud. In front of everyone. And before we assume they were all girls, one little boy was up at the front, too, sobbing into his elbow while I tried to figure out what-the-tea-party he was doing with his face hidden in the crook of his elbow. I honestly couldn't hear what he was saying because he was so completely distraught and close to hyperventilating that I had my cell phone out and ready to call the Counseling Center to come get him.
Was this a major assignment worth 85% of their grade, you might ask? Perhaps a test that would indicate whether they could move up to the next level? Had I yelled at them? Surely, it was something that warranted three sobbing children.
I strolled into the classroom, and said, "Please turn in your outlines so I can give you feedback on them while you work on today's in-class assignment. Then I'll give them back to you so you can start planning your presentations today instead of waiting until Wednesday to get these back when we meet again" (or something like that). There was no yelling, no chastisement, no announcement of death or doom on my part. I didn't even raise my voice. So what was with the tears? The assignment, my dear Miserians, was an outline of their first presentation (which they will give in two weeks; the outline was worth 10 points and was your standard "Main Point I; Main Point II; Main Point III, etc.). Was it the Roman numerals that scared them?
For crying out loud (pun fully intended), I don't understand why weeping is now acceptable in an academic setting. Perhaps I am an insensitive cow for not understanding (sorry, to my bovine friends) how missing or not understanding how to do an outline that will likely be worth 0.002% of their overall grade warranted such drama.
It's enough to make me cry!
"I hate to see a grown man cry. So, shove off, out of the office with you, then."
ReplyDelete- Michael Palin
Yes, this utterly gasts my flabber. But then, this is the generation who thinks nothing of moving back home after graduation. So help me, I'd have killed myself first: I simply would not have been able to bear the shame.
Part of education is retraining the panic trigger to go off when something is assigned instead of after it's due. Clearly these ones didn't get that memo.
ReplyDeleteI think it's the maturity factor. They have a maturity level of eight year olds.
DeleteWow. I have not had open weeping in class, yet. Thanks for the heads up on what to be on the lookout for. I know that will sound heartless to the more tenderhearted out there. Actually, I am racking my brains trying to think of a sincere-ish compassionate response, since inside I'd just be gagging and eye rolling and screaming out WTF? How about you either do the fucking work or take your lumps? Anyone remember "Dana can Work With Stupid?" http://rateyourstudents.blogspot.com/2010/03/welcome-blast-from-beloved-dana-from_5203.html Weeping Wanda and Walter can learn a few lessons from Dull Deborah and even Mellow Mark! I think I need to start bringing my tissues to class with me. In my office, I have developed the effective strategy of responding to tears by saying nothing, handing them a tissue, and waiting them out. Then, in a quiet voice, beginning again.
ReplyDeleteI'm beginning to think that students see crying as some kind of trump card they can play to weasel out of being responsible for their own screwups. After all, they CRIED, so you must be a big ol' meany. Do something to fix it or you'll come off as a complete monster.
ReplyDeleteI even have a colleague who likes to pull this. Sees herself as the sensitive-poet type, she does, so she busts out the crocodile tears to show us how her concerns are so much more *valid* than ours because she's so *sensitive*, sniff. Lucky for us, she's about as good at manipulation as she is at poetry.
Wow. I've only had students cry twice--once after a major computer crash that ate her paper . . . the day it was due, and once when I was having the this-paper-is-going-to-the-plagiarism-people discussion. And those are both totally understandable times to get so emotionally overwhelmed that one would break down. THIS makes no sense whatsoever.
ReplyDeleteI had one on the first day of my F2F class this semester. The issue? The fact that, although the lower stakes quizzes would be administered on Bb, the MT and Final exams would be taken in class without the benefit of the text or their notes.
ReplyDeleteHere is my feeling on the issue. Just substitute the word college for baseball.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rWoD2sQ9LiU
BTW, the ump towards the end is my dean.
As you might expect, I was very disappointed that the phrase, "post this to YouTube" did not follow your statement, "he was so completely distraught and close to hyperventilating that I had my cell phone out and ready to" ...
ReplyDeleteWhen I was a TA, I had one student who handed me her exam and a folded up piece of paper. The piece of paper was her crib sheet. I'm not sure what she was thinking, but I told her that we had to go see the professor, and boy, did she cry.
ReplyDeleteThat's it, though.
Give her points for honesty, deduct points for stupidity. It all evens out to a zero.
DeleteTears, for me, are typically limited to the students who fail the first exam, you know, the one that's the easiest because there hasn't been time for a whole lot of material yet. But then, all us chemistry professors are just a bunch of meanypants, and why do I have to take this damn course, anyhow?
ReplyDeleteLast term I had students cry -- or at least, pretend to cry -- when I told them that they couldn't get participation marks for classes that they missed. We talking about .1% of their final mark.
ReplyDeleteMaybe it worked on someone, somewhere in their past?
Never had a student cry in class, but I've had a few weepers in private conferences--usually as I'm giving the same kind of bland, constructive criticism I give everyone. I refuse to comfort them or play the mommy in these situations, which I think further confuses these histrionic students.
ReplyDeleteMe: "You're going to want to rework these paragraphs to work on organization--you might want to totally rewrite some of them..."
Student: BAWL.
Me: "Um, why are you crying? Is there something I should know?"
Student: *Big fat tears, snot everywhere*
Me: "Do you want to go to the bathroom to calm down? I'll wait here."
Student: "No ..." *more crying*
Me: "No, I think you need to go the bathroom. We'll talk more when you've calmed down." *stands in the doorway*
Student: *waits two months and then writes an evaluation about how I'm a heartless monster*
"...and then writes an evaluation about how I'm a heartless monster."
DeleteYou see, that's a major advantage of having tenure. I can now look at those, and giggle, whenever I look at them at all.
Gone Grad, totally agree with your approach. I tell them bluntly when I hand back work that I won't talk to them if they are visibly angry or upset. There's no point in either of us wasting time in a meeting in which emotions are hindering productivity.
ReplyDeleteI've occasionally made "there's no crying in baseball" references when passing back bad work. Unfortunately, my students either haven't seen the movie or pretend not to have seen it.
DeleteConsidering that that movie came out the year most of these kiddies were born, I doubt many have seen it. When I reference that, I get puzzled looks. Then again, I get puzzled looks over things we talked about earlier in the class period, so... they're just fucking idiots.
DeleteThe Dean told me that a boy had been crying in his office because of my calculus class. Told him "there's no crying in calculus".
DeleteHad a student this semester cry and beg for points because she got an 80% and couldn't live with such a low score. The urge to drop kick her was overwhelming.
ReplyDeleteWhy the heck don't you?
DeleteBOOT!
Then I'll be on the other side of the fence, to kick her back.
BOOT!
Then we can play hackey-sack:
BOOT! BOOT!! BOOT! BOOT!! BOOT-BOOT-BOOT-BOOT-BOOTBOOTBOOTBOOT...
If you think this is bad, try teaching in an area (Wolf359 *cough *cough) where 1 in every 3 people is either on meth or crack (and I'm not making this up either).
ReplyDeleteMy SLAC welcomes them with open arms. Talk about out of control emotions!
I had a weeper a couple semesters ago. She turned in a paper that demonstrated, with a rare and diamond clarity, that she hadn't read the book. So I sat her down on my office and opened both barrels. "Where does he say this? Where does he say that? He argues that? Really?" Apparently, it was a bit too harsh, because it turned into waterworks.
ReplyDeleteI'd like to say I handed her a scratchy brown paper napkin and told her to come back when she had control of herself, but of course I didn't. I caved, gave her an extension, and felt horrible the whole rest of the day.
One of my undergrad proffies told me about a time when he began sobbing uncontrollably in class. One of his parents had died just a few weeks before, and he had also divorced his wife about two years earlier. He said his crying took everybody by surprise. He was a well-published proffie with tenure and teaching awards. I appreciated him telling me the story. We're all human. If it could happen to him, then I can understand a student crying.
ReplyDeleteBut I'm more inclined to offer to walk the crying student over to the counseling office than to give the student leeway on assignments. Life sucks, the student cries... ok, the assignment is still due.
Bubba, you make the important point here. God knows I care about the delicate sensitivities of my students but that doesn't change the facts. My life could be going through a blender right now but the folks reviewing my research at NSF don't care. We are not treating students any more unfairly than other adults are treated. It's only cruel when viewed through the eyes of a student who still thinks she's in high school.
DeleteI haven't any criers yet. But I'm hunkering down for a good fight. I can see a student in my junior-level basket weaving class approaching failure. His usual arguments are - you pick on me, you single me out and treat me differently than everyone else. I'm ready for him. Bring it on.
ReplyDeleteBe careful what you wish for. The snot alone emitted on your office floor by one of these is quite enough to negate any amusement value whatsoever that the tiny size of their problems could possibly have (most of the time: genuine sad cases like Bubba's prof are rare).
DeleteI've observed the occasional melt down in my office, usually during one-on-one conferences, but this was in class! And I hadn't even said anything to warrant the tears. It's going to be a long quarter. Let's see if I can greet them tomorrow and get three more to cry.
ReplyDeleteI haven't seen tears in a while (thank goodness, and may the streak continue). There were a few meltdowns over B+s when I was a TA at my R1 grad institution. Those befuddled me, since I'd had a B+ average myself in both high school (a not particularly selective but quite academically tough prep school) and at my own R1 undergrad, and so had never had "A student" as part of my identity.
ReplyDeleteI cried the other day in class. We were reading a really, really god poem. I turned my back to the class and waited for it to pass. Hopefully none of my students noticed. (Although I'd have gotten "really nice guy" points, I am sure).
ReplyDeleteJesus I love that graphic. Great story.
ReplyDelete