Thursday, October 11, 2012

For God's Sake, Lie

Students: when you have to preface a comment with "I'm not gonna lie . . . " whatever follows is something you should be ashamed of and try to change.  It is always, always a character flaw.
"I'm not gonna lie.  I didn't read."
"I'm not gonna lie.  I'm really lazy."
"I'm not gonna lie.  I didn't look at your revision suggestions."
"I'm not gonna lie.  I don't have the books."
"I'm not gonna lie.  I don't go to the library."  

I'm not going to lie either, dear students, because I am a moral person with a dedication to the concept of truth.  And here is the truth: you are failing this course, and your honesty avails you nothing, especially if you have to point it out.  

5 comments:

  1. Academic MonkeyOctober 11, 2012 at 7:26 PM

    I disagree. If they lie, I have to try to read their stupid faces.

    If they tell the truth, I can stop trying to encourage them.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Professor ChiltepinOctober 11, 2012 at 7:55 PM

      True. Saves effort for the good students (I had one today who, not to sound like Katie, totally nailed the assignment she had been struggling with, so that improved my day dramatically after the "I'm not gonna lie" kid).

      Delete
    2. Rosencrantz Andor GuildensternOctober 11, 2012 at 10:19 PM

      Ah yes, but did you 'teach the shit out of her'?

      Delete
    3. Professor ChiltepinOctober 11, 2012 at 10:21 PM

      Thank goodness, I've never "taught the shit" out of anyone. Yuck yuck yuck.

      Delete
  2. Merely AcademicOctober 16, 2012 at 3:53 AM

    A colleague of mine had the perfect answer to these "I'm not gonna lie" comments: "Have you no shame?"

    ReplyDelete

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