Screw you LMS for telling Absent Allen that I am currently logged on. He emailed me because he knows I am currently logged in to the LMS. I can't hide this.
I refuse to hit reply. I do not care if my evaluation from you says I "wasn't available." Absent Allen, read the syllabus. There is no homework due tomorrow. Why? If you rtfs you would see that there is a midterm tomorrow. You missed two classes in a row. You missed the review. You had such potential until you missed half a chapter's worth of material. You really did.
Why am I awake still when I have to leave the house in four hours to freeway fly to get to work? Because, Absent Allen, I am still writing the exam I am giving you tomorrow.
Your email has made me reconsider any mercy I was feeling for you or your compatriots. I'll see you in five hours. I think I'll giggle when I'm grading the hell I am about to unleash on you.
Oh, and when you ask me tomorrow, dearest Absent Allen, why I didn't answer your email even though I was logged on, I am going to feign shock and say that I must have left my computer signed in. I just saw your email as I was making photocopies. Terribly sorry old chap.