Monday, November 26, 2012

Professor ChrryBlastr With some Snowflake Mail.

Dear Professor,

My name is Slacker. My student number is _______. I am in your class. I know it is last minute. But can I get an extension. I have 4 essays back to back and work as well. I was sick last week so, I could not start early on any of my assignment's or projects. I have put my work on hold and focusing more on completing the final project. I will not be able to finish the cct essay on time.

I am sorry if I cause any trouble but this is important to me and that is why I have contacted you as soon as I could. Please, would it be possible if I can submit the essay by sunday night or monday morning and not lose any marks in the process.



Hi CB!

This is Excuse Girl. I submitted my assignment right now, however I just wanted to mention that I changed myy topic the last minute as I was really panicking and wanted to do my best in the assignment. I also wanted to mention something about my first test, as I think I should at least let you know.

I got perfect in all my labs and did pretty well in my last test, but I only got a 57 in my first term test. That week my grand father passed away and he used to live with me thus, I was really out of my senses and also I had another exam at the uni the same day and an assignment due the next day. Maybe, I should have told you earlier this anyway but I just didnt know how to. However, my counselor in the office of the registrar told me to at least inform my profs about my situation, specially the ones that were not in my hand.

Actually I due to some really unfortunate events such my parents separation and a few deaths in the family, I did really bad in the previous two semesters and if I do not have a GPA of 2.5 this semester, I would get suspended for three years from school, which I cannot afford at any cost. Therefore, I still tried to do all the assignments and tests on time so it does not affect my study, despite my grand pa's death. For the upcoming assignment, I also did my level best with whatever I learnt in this course, as well what I learnt cause of my own interests. I know I did my best, still its my humble request to you to be a bit lenient , if possible, considering my situation, as well as the fact that I got good grades in regularly in all my labs and the last test.
Thank you.

Sincerely yours,
Excuse Girl

Hmmmmmmmmmm....I didn't realize that we were on a first name basis. So you mean to say that the onus is now on me and that I am responsible for your success? I'm thinking too bad so sad.



  1. Considering how tech-savy this generation is supposed to be, they sure need a lot of hand-holding doing even the simplest computer task if it doesn't involve social media or gaming.

    1. That's what's so frustrating! We keep being told to increase technology use, and we end up learning how to use all kinds of new fangled crap that we then have to teach to them because the assumption that THEY 'get it' is wrong. Wrong. Wrong!

  2. They're not tech savvy. Whenever I feel the need to learn how to use the latest doo-dad, I think, "Come on, this can't be difficult, since you saw some dimwit student use it." Invariably, I find that it isn't difficult, when I can be bothered.

    A particularly illustrative example of this is that nearly every engineering major carries a great, big, programmable calculator with graphics capability. Only a few of them know how to use the graphics, and almost none of them can program them. They carry these calculators primarily as a magic talisman, like a rabbit's foot. The totemistic aspect of this (mine's bigger than yours, engineering still being a male-dominated field) has not escaped my notice.

  3. 1. I hate when they address me by first name. I do nothing to suggest this is okay (I realize at some institutions, it is normal to be called by your first name. This is not the case at my college.)

    2. I hate when they write things like "I cannot afford [fill in the blank consequence of poor work] at any cost." If you cannot afford it at any cost, why did you submit the poor work? She/he is coming up with a whole bunch of excuses now, but as this behavior as apparently gone on for three semesters (and that is why it is finally, now, catching up with her/him) then these excuses have gotten a little stale.

    I tell my students that this is college and that they must rise to the occasion of college work. I am, actually, somewhat of a pushover (though I try to channel Stella in many cases) and I do much to accommodate extenuating circumstances. Yet there are limits, and I would never put off an exam or disregard an exam grade because of personal problems. When we think of how much students have to deal with, especially (at least it seems to me in my neck of the woods) so many of my students, it seems like some of the students with the hardest lives are the ones who manage to turn in the best work and put forth the best effort.

    1. "If you cannot afford [a poor grade] at any cost, why did you submit the poor work?" <-- THIS. Exactly!

    2. At the beginning of the semester, a student's mother died. He missed two days of class, turned in all of his work, and didn't ask for a thing (though I offered extensions).

      I've added him to the list of reasons I am less inclined to bend over backwards to help students who just don't show up or do the work. He joins the student whose 4 year old daughter had had multiple surgeries on her brain, and who was traveling an hour and a half each way between the hospital and the campus and turned in all of her work on time. And the student who worked 3rd shift at a factory and came to class in the morning and stayed awake and got an A for his excellent work.

  4. I printed this out this semester on paper and passed it out to the freshflakes. I outlined the points. Explained how it is. I swear that I get better emails from this semester than all the rest put together. I especially like "Avoid rote apologies for missing class."