Monday, November 19, 2012

Thanksgiving Week Moderator is Hungover Archival Posting, But It's Sorta Okay Because It Allows Us to Celebrate Hall of Famer Beaker Ben. 4 Years Ago on RYS.


"The Regulars." Beaker Ben from Bethany Beach Tries to Sneak Some Cat-Blogging Past Us.

It’s an honor for me to be a regular here at RYS. (It’s borderline lunacy on their part.) So I can really write anything I want?

6:30 am
Today, I woke up with my kitty, Mr. Winkles, meowing at me for some milk. Now, Mr. Winkles knows that he only gets milk on Caturdays - I mean, Saturdays. ; ) SILLY Mr. Winkles!!! But he was SO CUTE that I decided to ...
Oh, I can write about anything but that. Fine, I won’t waste my catblogging talents on you people.

Let’s talk about my chemistry students.

IM Irene: Put away your cell phone during an exam. Yes, I know that it has a calculator feature. It has another feature that lets you text your roommate to look up and answer and send the exam questions to students in my afternoon class. Buy something else with a calculator feature, like a calculator.

Deluded Derik: You told me, “I’ve seen all this in high school, so I figure I don’t have to study.” That’s odd. I saw Star Wars but it didn’t make me a Jedi. You’ll be pleased to learn that your beloved advanced placement IB super-high school chemistry course is helping you get the same grade as ...

Larry the lump: I don’t mean to pick on you, Larry. One or two lumps ooze into my class every year. On the one hand, lumps already know that they are going to fail my class even before they look at the syllabus, so at least they aren’t disappointed. You guys also pay as much tuition as any other student and God knows we need more of that coming in these days. You don’t disturb the class once you realize that a lot of the students actually understand this stuff. Actually, I can think of a lot of worse students than lumps. Yay lumps!

Brian the Brainiac: You – I like you. You’ll go places, hopefully into my lab and do a kickass undergraduate research thesis. Just stop lecturing me about what went wrong when the chemical reaction I’m demonstrating to your class got a little too, er, energetic. This shit’s hard to do. I just make it look easy. Now come up to the front of the classroom and help me put out this fire.