Libby in Lawrence with the Colleague Misery.
- I'm 28. I'm not actually a girl.
- Because I'm thin doesn't necessarily mean I'm "fit," and the way you say it sounds like you have a boner.
- My subfield is only edgy if you're, like, a hundred years old. We've been studying it since you molted, you old fuck.
- Because of my gender I'm not necessarily interested in baking something "sweet and sinful" for the departmental meeting.
- I am not available for all of your questions about the "lesbian world."
- Don't dangle my future tenure and promotion above my head like you, personally, were going to make the decision.
- That chuckling you hear inside my office is when I'm calling my girlfriend to tell you what a fucking skeev you are.
- [Something that will happen tomorrow.]
- [Something I've repressed.]
- [The thing I will tell the Dean one day.]
There are assholes in most departments, aren't they. I hate that Libby has put up with this colleague's shit. I don't know when it was that I finally felt able to ignore the bullshit that came my way (whatever it was), but it seemed to me at some point I was able to turn a deaf ear.
ReplyDeleteIt's not fair how your colleague has treated you, Libby. I'm sorry for that.
Bring some stale fucking cookies from a gas station and drop those on his desk.
As an old(er) guy myself, I'm likely to be seen this way even when I'm not doing any of it, and it's all something to avoid on my part. (Well, maybe I am doing #8 - #10, but I hope not).
ReplyDeleteThanks for the reminder, and best wishes to you in avoiding it in the future.
If it's any consolation, Libby, you'll outlive them. You likely won't outlive the expectation that you'd loooooooove to bake/plan birthday parties/buy Avon products because you're a "girl." I even get that crap from my department secretary.
ReplyDeleteI would guess Libby takes more of this shit than a middle aged white man like myself, but I do know from experience that there's just some stuff we have to find a way to tolerate.
ReplyDeleteHer colleague may or may not be a perv, but he certainly should be more aware of how he treats women.
I hope he wises up, or, and I know this is hard, I hope Libby clues him in sometime. Good luck, Libby.
Libby, mention to your colleague that revenge is sweet and pushing somebody down a flight of stairs is also a sin. They might think twice before asking you to bake anything next time.
ReplyDelete#2...I consider thin = fit as in "fit enough to not have a problem going up and down stairs". Above that it would qualify as athletic or toned.
ReplyDeleteAnyhoozles....yeah this dude is a little bit creepy. Is he at least creepy in a Herbert the Pervert (google it) sort of way that's charming?
Unless Mr. Skeeve is British, then Fit= hot or sexy and has nothing to do with physical ability at all.
Delete@Libby: If anyone else has heard him say this, and if you don't get tenure, this screams "sexual harassment lawsuit." I wouldn't tolerate it, in the department in which I'm now chair.
ReplyDeleteLet's hope you do get tenure. Then you may become chair (it's easy, no one else will want to) and settle this skeev's hash, in dastardly, devious ways.
Delightful dastardly devious ways!
DeleteEw, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
ReplyDeleteUgh. Especially in light of #6, I hope you're keeping a diary/log of some sort as well as telling your girlfriend (and keeping a copy off campus). As Frod points out, the only upside of all this is that this dude's skeeviness might turn out to be your tenure insurance.
ReplyDeleteLibby, you rock. I'm sorry you have to deal with this jerk.
ReplyDeleteCC is right on the mark (as is everyone else): keep a journal with dates, details, and witnesses. Though if he always manages to say these things when no one else is around, that's even worse because he knows what he's doing.
I don't know if this is any comfort, but a) you're much more articulate about it than I was in my 20s, and b) it's heartening to hear so many older men in academe denouncing what used to seem the status quo. May Frod's scenario come true.
As you plan your eventual frank responses, you might search CM for posts from Suzy from Square State. She was a dean for a few years and gave us vicarious satisfaction as she dealt with harassers.
Here's a good example: http://collegemisery.blogspot.com/2011/02/those-arent-my-eyes.html
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