HAMSTER'S INDEX
Percentage of the last 100 posts on CM that have come from an RGM: 59
Percentage of the last 100 posts on CM that have come from a Bubba: 6
Number of times Frod has deleted comments and rewritten comments: 3,531
Number of times Frod has admitted that he has always been inspired by Julius Sumner Miller: 0
Number of CM commenters who secretly have a crush on the Real Gordon Presto: 54
Number of insect fragments allowed by the FDA in a standard jar of peanut butter: 153
Number of hamster hairs allowed by the FDA in a standard jar of peanut butter: 5
Amount the average U.S. worker spends annually on coffee: $1,092
Amount the average CM reader spends annually on alcohol: $7,092
Number of Xanax pills Stella swallowed yesterday: 3
Number of people buried in the vacant lot behind Northeastern Ghetto Tech: 8
Number of times Bubba dreamed he was dancing with a Wilford Brimley doppleganger last night: 1
Number of people who have been traumatized by CM, but keep coming back for more: 4
Number of times those four people have argued about getting an intern for the compound: 37
Number of MacGuffins employed by CM (besides the duck): 276
Percentage of the CM Correspondents who will post original greatness between Feb 25 and Mar 3: 78
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ReplyDeleteThis is hilarious. Thank you! (Bourbon typos before)
DeleteA very clever adaptation of the genre indeed.
DeleteAaaah, Bubba, so ist es also: there are CM "moderators" and CM "commentators". And then the lower caste of mere, uhh, "participants" shall we say, with no posting rights, other than by emailing to the blog. Let's have lists: are the mods the people with the little gray chalk next to their names?
ReplyDeleteMan, I like this site, but I've seen more friendly architectures for a cold, lonely night with a magnum of red.
Actually, "correspondents" are the people with posting rights, a number limited to 100, as I understand it, by blogger (not the RGMs, who are a somewhat smaller, more shadowy -- and very, very patient -- collective with administrative privileges for the blog, and access to the email account). I think the little gray chalk icon appears next to the pseudonym of the person who created a particular post, in that post only. If there's an open spot for a correspondent, you can claim it by emailing the RGMs.
DeleteAnybody (with or without posting rights) can be a commenter/participant simply by using a single username to comment on the blog (and otherwise sticking to the rules of misery).
When I read the notice that appeared briefly (this morning, I think) about the moderators taking a break from posting, I, too, wondered, what would happen to the option of non-correspondents sending in things to be posted (which seemed to end up counted with the RGMs own postings in the statistic that was cited). I haven't consulted with the RGMs (I figure they get enough email without me bothering them), but I'd be surprised if the goal were to discourage such postings. I'm pretty sure the idea was to encourage posting by correspondents, especially those who haven't posted lately.
CC, thanks. Now it's all clear. And--what, you're not an RGM?
DeleteSo the RGMs are unhappy about having to post all the time. That's easily handled: just have a rule that any correspondent who hasn't sent a post in (say) a year loses that coveted status. And then have annual competitions for the open slots, right around job search time.
Nope, not a RGM, just an overactive commenter and intermittently active correspondent. Whoever is currently serving as RGM posts under the "college misery" handle. Some of the RGMs also have their own monikers, but most are not tremendously visible in that guise. Some of them are mentioned in the incomplete (and immediately a bit confusing) history, over there. ---->
DeleteI don't think we have 100 commentators. This issue has come up in the past and the RGM has always mentioned that we have fewer than 100, if my recollection serves me.
DeleteThere are 98 "correspondents" with posting rights. Others who wish to post items occasionally have always had the option of emailing us.
DeleteThere is only one current moderator. There are three past moderators, none of whom is currently running the page.
The RGM
A Wise One Who Got Hounded.
DeleteAbandoning Eden
ABDbag
Academaniac
Academic Charlotte Anne
Academic Drag
Academic Monkey
accidentalacademic
Ack-ademic
Addled
Adjunct Film Guy
AdjunctSlave
aemilia
Ahistoricality
aitguy
Alan from Apex
Albuquerque Adam
Alex
Alexis James
Allison
amy
Amy from Annandale
Ana Thyrosis
Anastasia
Ancillary Adjunct
Andre
Andrew
Angelica
Angry Archie
AngryCashier
Annapolis Aethelfrith
Annie B
Annie Oakley
Anteater
Anthro Girl
aperture labs
Arete
Ashby
Asst Dean
Attila
Atua
Aware and Scared
That's 42 just counting the A's (not counting those who email the RGM, and also not counting "anonymous" and the other trolls/spammers).
Total, I'm guessing at least 500 commenters. Who knows how many lurkers?
But some obviously comment much less than others.
Ultimately, we know there are only four of us, but it's fun to pretend.
For newcomers, it should be noted that Bubba's list is of folks who have commented on the page, not folks who have posting rights, and who are called correspondents.
DeleteVery few of the people on Bubba's list have been on the page in the past year.
The RGM
Actually, all of those listed have commented in the past year, except for these twelve:
DeleteAbandoning Eden
Adjunct Film Guy
Albuquerque Adam
Alex
Alexis James
amy
Andre
Andrew
Angelica
aperture labs
Ashby
Asst Dean
@RGM: Are you trying to kill the blog?
Since day one.
DeleteApologies, RGM. I did not mean to imply there was more than one of you. That's the impression I've had lately, which perhaps is the point; it adds to the mystery (and the illusion of ubiquity -- though I'm not sure that's an illusion. Do you ever sleep?).
DeleteNot to worry, Cassandra. The RGM thing does help some, especially with folks who are not regularly on the site. The mods (past and present) have occasionally been targeted in petty and unseemly ways, and having it vague has proven helpful for that.
DeleteMost folks knows that Fab started it, and that Leslie K and Terry P (Gordon Presto) have helmed the death ship, and that Cal has acted as consigliere and graphics-murderer.
One of those people moderates the site. Badly. With evil intent. With one eye closed. With Foghat roaring on the stereo.
Drunk.
I don't think that actually narrows it down.
XOXO
The RGM
I hate to confess that I'd never heard of Julius Sumner Miller before this post. I can't recall ever having seen him on TV. My main source of inspiration is my grandfather, Viktor.
ReplyDeleteBubba, if you want me to stop, I'll stop. Why don't I take another long hiatus, now?
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't take Bubba's comment too personally, Frod. Dancing with a Wilford Brimley doppleganger would make anyone a bit irritable (I've had some odd dreams, but not that one. I must not be drinking the right brand of bourbon).
Delete@Frod: if I had the authority to get you to stop, I wouldn't exercise it.
DeleteHah. You're off by two with the Xanax.
ReplyDeleteBut in which direction? Since it was Saturday, I'm guessing the correct number was one (but I might be making some incorrect assumptions about the relative stressfulness of your home and work lives, and/or when you work).
DeleteYes, one.
ReplyDeleteMonday the tally would have been different.
There are no bodies, there is no empty field (not anymore anyway, and it was a faculty parking lot of dirt.)
ReplyDeleteI love Harper's Magazine.
"Percentage of the CM Correspondents who will post original greatness between Feb 25 and Mar 3: 78"
ReplyDeleteI think the mods do an unbelievable job. I'm sorry there aren't more correspondent-generated posts.
ReplyDeleteI know I go in spurts. Sometimes I have nothing to say. I like all the linked articles that CM puts up, and I think it's a shame that whatever has happened has stopped that.