Tuesday, February 5, 2013


lyrics by Angry Archie
musical realization and ruination by Compound Cal
based on the rick rubin / johnny cash arrangement
of trent reznor's "hurt"
necessary apologies


I hurt my flakes today
To see if they still feel
I focus on the grades
The only thing that's real
Blue books in a stack
The old familiar pain
Try to grade it all away
But I remember everything

What have you become
My little flake
I see you asking me
Do I want fries with my shake
You can't pass my course
If you don't do the work
I will grade your tests
I will make you hurt

I wear this crown of thorns
Upon my proffie's chair
Full of broken dreams
I cannot repair
Beneath the stains of time
The flunkees disappear
You are serving fries
I am still right here


If I could start again
A million miles away
I'd still grade your work
I would make you pay


  1. Listen, if there's going to be a band, I'd like to get in on it.

  2. I used to play bass and sometimes scream!
    Great work!

    1. Oh, and I can scream, too. Always need lots of screaming in a band, especially if we're going to do White Light / White Heat, which I'll insist on.

  3. Fellas, this is fucking great.

    The RGM

  4. I said to Cal, if you want to kill the site, all we really need is a theme song. I mean does K-T from K-Z have a theme song? Of course not. No real blog does. If this doesn't kill it, nothing will.

  5. Genius! How can I put a copy into my iPod? And will the album include Cal's Brady Bunch cover?

  6. How is this blog capable of this AND dog eater "jokes"?

    Archie and Cal, I love you, I love you, I love you.

    And, listen, this has come up before, but Cal, can you like record your voice saying, "It's just a job, Kimmie...it's just a job." I'd make it my ringtone.

  7. This. This is the most brilliant thing this site has yet produced. I love it so much I am going to share it with some of my colleagues.

  8. Angst, lyrically expressed, with an underlying current of determination. Bravo!

    (P.S. I never thought how closely "flunkees" and "flunkeys" -- as in those who push fries, and do other menial work -- resemble each other, but, well, it works, doesn't it? Mind you, I've known people who do work usually considered menial exceptionally well, and I admire them for it, but that's not the sort of worker I imagine my most initiative-less students being, though maybe I'd be surprised if I saw them in another context).

  9. I'm so glad I checked in to the site today. This is so tea-partying good that I listened three times and then had to email it to my friends.

  10. Wow. Just wow. Cleverly done.

    Cal, did you do all the music? Are you a music professor or just a dabbler.

    Archie, keep writing new theme songs for the page. We can never have enough.

    PS: I'm one of "the others," although I've now poked my head up twice in 2013. Did you know we have our own version of the page called CollegeMiseryMisery.com? Secret, back channel stuff only.

    1. Hi Hector. I don't teach music, but I played in bar bands for about 15 years in my 20s and 30s. I still mess around on my own and once a year with some old pals in Texas or Nashville.

  11. This just made a potentially sucky day rock! Archie, Bravo, Cal!

    Can I be a roadie?