Let's say, for simplicity's sake, that my class is the History of Science. Most students do not want to take History of Science because they would rather just blow things up in the lab. They haven't yet realized that a Scientist must be well-rounded and know more than just how to blow things up in a lab. (My apologies to real scientists for the metaphor, but any more specific info would give me away) I just returned the students' first paper, where they were required to write a research paper about a specific scientist. I gave them some secondary sources but wanted them to look at the scientist themselves. (Primary sources and all) I got an email from Flakely P. Flakington within 30 minutes of returning the paper. Apparently, I never "told them they had to talk about science in their paper." I grade too hard. I grade harder than last semester's professor. My expectations weren't clear. Flakely worked way to [sic] hard on this paper for it to effect [sic] her grade so much. Why didn't I require a draft? Last semester's professor required a draft so they could make sure they "understood what she wanted."
Let me get this straight. I required a thesis paragraph, two secondary source summaries, and a footnote formatting exercise, about half of which this student completed satisfactorily. I offered written feedback. I offered every week for students to come meet with me. I stated several times how important it was for them to look at the scientist and not just read the secondary sources about the scientist. But because this student didn't get the grade she wanted, it's my fault for not making my expectations clear. I should just give her an A and tell her to get the fuck out of my face, since she obviously doesn't give a shit about learning anything. If only I had tenure.
I'm sick to damn death of these brats telling me I'm so much meaner and harder than last semester's professor. I'm tired of them not being able to think critically. I'm tired of them being rude to me and refusing to take responsibility for their learning. Most of all, I'm so tired of them making me doubt myself, making me wonder if I am being too much of a hard-ass by asking them to talk about science in a science history paper.
"I refuse to expect any less of you than you are capable of, and I *know* you are capable of better. Welcome to the rest of your life."
ReplyDeleteThis has become an almost stock reply for me. About half the time, I even get students who thank me for it.
One of my HS teachers said something similar to me at just the right moment when I was willing to hear it and it changed my whole outlook on school.
DeleteI would like to use this in my senior class syllabus. I love it.
Delete"My apologies to real scientists for the metaphor..." No apologies necessary. We do prefer to blow stuff up in the lab.
ReplyDeleteThe solution to your problem is to become the first semester professor. I don't mean lower your standards but just teach the first course. You won't be compared to anybody.
Maybe you could get the students to blow themselves up in the lab. That might solve the problem (although there'd probably be lot of paperwork afterwards).
DeleteI'd recommend poisoning. It's less destructive of lab equipment and can act more slowly, so the flakes' agony can be prolonged, as you giggle like a proper mad scientist. MUAA-HA-HAAA!
DeleteSave the paperwork. Let them play with strong radioisotopes. Especially let them spill it on their pants. Takes longer, but helps clean up some pollution in the gene pool.
DeleteAnd don't forget that, as Richard Pryor observed, "FIRE is inspirational..." See how much fun chemistry is?
DeleteTo these students anything less than an A is a sign that you didn't explain things properly. It's never that they didn't work hard enough or that they didn't read your course material and feedback. It makes me sad and angry.
ReplyDeleteLast semester I had a student who, despite my giving examples, supplying links to related subjects, writing it into the hard-copy schedule, wrote a paper that I, at first, thought she had handed in to the wrong class.
Delete"No," she told me, You didn't make the assignment clear."
I still flunked her. And I'm only an adjunct, but my department backs me 100%.
If they do well then THEY got an A. If they do poorly then YOU gave them an F.
DeleteBless you for posting this. I too sometimes question my rigor as a result of flakery (and I have tenure). There are days I wonder if it is worth it, as I watch certain colleagues flounce in late, leave early, have no grading, and certainly have no student complaints. When one's exam average is 84% one doesn't have many flakes who feel bad or complain. I can't fathom that this certain colleague has such a different group of students that the average is 20 points higher than mine. And while I have tenure, my enrollments are down compared to a certain colleague who gets fives for easiness on the site that shall not be mentioned (but I just had to see what students said!)
ReplyDelete"I required a thesis paragraph, two secondary source summaries, and a footnote formatting exercise, about half of which this student completed satisfactorily. I offered written feedback. I offered every week for students to come meet with me. I stated several times how important it was for them to look at the scientist and not just read the secondary sources about the scientist. But because this student didn't get the grade she wanted, it's my fault for not making my expectations clear."
ReplyDeleteYou made your expectations clear, and gave her plenty of opportunities to get things clarified. She just wasn't listening.
I totally can't stand this crap either.
ReplyDeleteI bury them in a response email, I teapartying bury them in every last teapartying detail of everything I did, so that there is absolutely no doubt in anyone's mind, including the student's, that the responsibility (and blame) for a poor grade rested entirely on the student. I also tend to 'cc the chair of undergrad studies for the department, and the 2 departmental office advisors, such that I've already covered the next two rungs of the ladder above me in terms of a student complaining about anything I've done in class with respect to grading etc.
If I'm lucky, I get a completely meek and muted response from the student. If I'm not lucky, then I just hit delete on whatever teapartying crap the student is spewing. I said my fill and made my point and covered my ass with my cc'ed email.
I'm a member of the Teapartying Teaparty, but thank you for the new vocab. I don't really see why you're so upset about student entitlement, since you're apparently a lefty, and you guys basically destroyed the entire public school system by yourselves. I.e., the left caused the problem, so do they (you) have the right to complain about it? Maybe try less self-esteem-based "teaching" in K-12. Anyone? No? Ok. Onward toward doom we go.
DeleteI agree with the Tea Party's stance on a smaller, less intrusive government. To be fair, the bloggers here are always railing about the snowflakes "self of steam" and No Child Left Behind, and the benefits that have been reaped from both of those enlightened approaches to education.
DeleteRather than turning this political it would be a better use of resources to fix the problem, not the blame.
No Cookies, a lazy idiot is a lazy idiot, and I'm a member of Its-none-of-your-goddamn-business-what-Im-a-member-of Party, which as a teapartying libertarian is a sentiment you should greatly appreciate, and a teapartying thank you for that interesting and totally irrelevant segue into politics, as I don't see how lefty vs righty enters into a student being an a-hole, but if you're a teapartying hammer you're going to see every problem as a teapartying nail, so, have at 'er and hit every nail in sight if that kind of thing turns your teapartying crank.
DeleteSo frustrating when they blame us for their inadequacies. I get that all the time, too: "You're such a hard grader. Why can't you be cool like my last lame professor?" when I give them a grade they actually earned. It makes me wonder how many people in their lives really do just give them a grade they don't deserve because they're too chicken shit to do their jobs properly and teach students to be responsible for the quality of their own work.
ReplyDeleteToo bad you don't have tenure. Now that I have it, whenever I get students who act like very young children by telling me I'm so much meaner and harder than last semester's professor, I may grin maliciously and giggle like a proper mad scientist, and chortle, "THANK YOU. I TRY!"
ReplyDeleteEvery time they tell me that "last semester's professor gave me an A," I check. It's almost never true.
ReplyDeleteBest passive-aggressive response to a snowflake ever: "I am so sorry that I did not live up to your expectations"
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry. It could be worse. You could be a high school teacher who has to meet with their goddamn mommies. But I know it's bad enough as it is.
ReplyDeleteOh, I've had to interact with parents. Thank God for FERPA.
DeleteActual Quote from an Actual Student:
ReplyDelete"If you were any kind of a decent teacher, you would make it easy to understand this stuff. I'm struggling so much that you must be a lousy teacher." (In what may be the single most conceptually difficult course in my flavor of hamster tech)
I laughed in the student's face, and asked them to send me the same statement by email so I could show it to my colleagues and Chair. Never got it, of course.
One of the great things about teaching physics is that I can fire back, "IT DOES REQUIRE INTELLIGENCE!"
DeleteFrod, I've used your phrase, modified slightly. "This is hard!" "Well, it does require some thinking!" Ohhh, if looks could kill....
Delete