Really real questions, fakey fake answers...
Me: No. You are obviously here for fun, so why should you want credit?
Cautious Charles: Is it ok if I write on the exam?
Me: No. You must transmit your answers via the 6th dimension.
Confused Christie: This question asks about the difference between hamsters and gerbils, but I don't remember what a gerbil is. Can you tell me?
Me: Yes. Would you like me to just hand you the key while I'm at it?
Entitled Edna: I came in ten minutes late, can I get ten extra minutes?
Me: Yes. Should I also fan you and feed you grapes while you contemplate the meaning of each question?