Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Chronivorous Weasels*

Let's go see
what ol'
Grumpy is up to!
Dear Students,

It is Easter Vacation.  We have two weeks (with a long holiday weekend in the middle) of no classes, and you are all supposed to GO HOME or go on a binge or go away or just... go.  SHOO!!!  I am NOT impressed by your virtue if you stay on to work and make a point of dropping by my office..  I am not going to want to talk about any of your classes, or your project, especially if you have never been to any of my term time office hours.  It is YOUR vacation, and MY work time.  I need to write!  I need to think! I need to do some benchwork and reorganise my office.  I need to catch up on my grading...

Colleagues say 'just don't come to work' but, dammit, I WANT to work in my office where my books are, where my large-screen grant-paid-for computer and whizzy software are, where I don't have to pay for the
heating (especially with this southerly jet-stream), where I'm not distracted by my pets, undone household chores, the lure of a nap on the couch or just one more chapter of a novel...  I don't want to carry my grading home and have it lurk around my house pulling faces at me and trying to make me feel guilty.

Is it really SO selfish to wish you would all just go away for a couple of weeks?? 

GrumpyAcademic (shortly to be renamed Absolutely Livid Academic if I don't get just ONE DAY of PEACE).

*Scott Adams/Dilbert gets the credit for this phrase but it is just so perfect...


  1. Oh I know. I love when class is out of session. I can actually work. I currently have a door with no window, so I truly just lock it when I'm in PRIVACY mode, and unless someone I know calls out my name..."Fabby, oh Fabby..." I just leave it closed. Oh, and I crank the Black Flag.

    1. I once played the Rollins' band "Liar" in class as students were coming in. Afterwards, a student came up to me and asked "please don't ever play that type of music again. it gives me a migraine headache... " I didn't know quite what to say, but managed to purse my lips together into a neutral expression that one finds at a poker game...

  2. Do not Disturb sign on the locked office door? Vacation messages on email and phone? How sad for you.

  3. I, too, was thinking you need a "do not disturb" sign. If that doesn't work, perhaps you could look for a "quarantine" or "condemned" one?

    I have found that email creates the same problem even if one doesn't go in to the office. The only solution to that is a vacation message and self-re-education (do not even check. If you've got to check for other professional correspondence, don't even open the student emails, and put up the vacation message anyway. Other professors will understand all too well when you say it's for the students.)

  4. I don't know exactly why, but the accompanying image is quite disturbing -- sort of Harvey gone wrong, somehow. Among other things, is Harvey wearing a hospital gown?

  5. Door closed. Cell phone in hand when you open it, if someone knocks.

    "Oh, I'm due to call my husband right now--I'll catch up with you another time..."

    Door closed again.

    Back to snood. I mean, er...working.

  6. OMG! RIGHT? I JUST finished kicking someone out of my office. He said he saw my car in the parking lot and knew I was in. How does he know what I drive? I'm going to lock the front door so people can't even get into the building, since I'm the only one here. Wait... why am I the only one here?

  7. I have a windowless door. If I didn't, I would work at home ALL THE TIME. But you're right about the constant distractions at home ...

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  9. Windows on office doors are perfect frames for art related to one's discipline. The art is mounted on the inside, with an opaque backing so that there is no hope of illumination from any lights on in the office.