Friday, March 22, 2013
Speedy Rant: Copy Machine Operator Error
To my colleague next door (yes, I know it's YOU, because I see you skulking back to your office clutching a sheaf of cantaloupe orange paper):
When you've finished making copies, take the fucking cantaloupe orange paper out of the paper drawer, or learn how to use the bypass tray. It's a bypass tray, not a Smart Board; you lay the paper on it. That's IT. You don't even have to try to figure out if "lay" is a transitive or intransitive verb. No possible reason exists for you to pull out the paper tray to fill it with your festive intentions.
(We also all know who leaves the copier jammed when you use the colored paper because no one else in the department touches that stuff.)
In fact, stop using colored copies altogether! Your students don't care if your handouts are colorful. They just want to know if you'll post them online, because as soon as they leave, they'll lose your splendiferously colored handouts, but our copy machine will still have colorful paper in the drawer, leaving me with copies of cantaloupe orange grant proposals that I cannot possibly use.