Thursday, April 18, 2013
Horrible Meanie Prof Goes Old School With the Smackdown. "Mean? Horrible? Or Both?"
Entitled Ernie: Against advice from colleagues (and my better judgment) I gave you an incomplete last semester, then gave you a few extra days when you didn’t complete the make up work in time. My reward? A grade grievance when you STILL didn’t turn the work in by the extended due date, and I failed you. Lucky me, I have you THIS semester too. Why, oh why, did I expect anything different this semester? You have missed about half the classes, and more than half the assignments. The grievance committee might find that interesting, don’t ya think?
Mendacious Mollie: When the syllabus says I’ll confiscate an item if you bring it into the studio, it means I’ll confiscate it when you bring it into the studio. My picking it up from your table does not equal “ripping it out of your hands” as you complained to the Chair, and I don’t give a fuck if s/he thinks I’m harsh. Try that kind of thing in your first job and enjoy the ride as they kick your ass out the door.
Special Spencer: Is there a single instruction I’ve given you that you have managed to understand? Your head seems only a couple of molecules shy of a complete vacuum. When I said, “draw your figure in black ink using a straightedge,” you did a quick crummy freehand sketch in pencil, then asked me what you did wrong. Based on the hurt look in the puppy-dog eyes, I’m STILL not sure you even know the difference between a black ink pen and a pencil. (HINT: sharpening it will NOT make a pen write more clearly, and will mess up the sharpener – or wait, was it YOU that wrecked the room sharpener last week?)
Reformed Rudy: You and I have had battles in the past. I am heartened that we seem to have successfully put it all in the past. You have turned into the kind of person that I suspected was there all along – basically honest, basically hard-working and trying to succeed. Good for you! PLEASE ask me for a letter of recommendation – you deserve it more than most of the so-called ‘good students.’ Is there any way we can replicate your transformation in some of my current doofuses?