Thursday, April 11, 2013
He expounded further on issues relating to hamster rotation, hamster surfaces as smooth manifolds, an upper bound for the number of diffeomorphisms on a hamster surface, and the fact that hamster intersection is always non-trivial.
For his final topic, he turned to the cart and motioned toward the blanket covering it.
"I shall demonstrate to you today that, underneath this blanket is 100 hamster cages that are simultaneously being occupied by a single hamster."
You could hear a pin drop in the room as he lifted the blanket off the cage. Indeed, there were many many cages. However, only one was occupied by a hamster.
He continued, "As you can see, the wave function for this hamster has collapsed upon our observing the system. That is why we can only see the hamster occupying a single cage once we lift the blanket off." He then proceeded to repeatedly cover and uncover the cages.
He added, "Surely, the cages are simultaneously occupied when we're not looking at them."
Sighing, one of the Zoology instructors posed a question. "How come the other cages appear to be undisturbed?"
"What do you mean?" the lecturer replied.
"I mean that, to put it plainly, there's no poop in any of the other cages!"
The lecturer paused and answered, "Ah! That's a good question. You see, it all disappears when the wave function collapses!"
Another instructor from the Biology department chimed in, "Just exactly how do you intend to demonstrate this phenomena to us?"
The lecturer replied, "What phenomena?"
The Biology professor commented, "I see. So you've already forgotten what you are talking about."
The lecturer gave a blank stare.
The Biology professor continued, "The phenomena regarding the hamster's supposed ability to occupy all 100 cages simultaneously. How do you intend to establish that?!"
"What in the world does that have to do with hamsters?" I whispered.