Friday, April 26, 2013

What I Wish I Could Say to Most of My Students' Reponses

h/t to PHD Stress


  1. Yes, yes, yes. Just yesterday, in fact, a student brought me answers to practice questions at my request. He handed them to me and made for the door, as if that was what I was asking for.

    PROFFIE GALORE: Wait -- the point is for me to go over these with you.

    LOST IN SPACEFLAKE: But I did them, like you asked.

    PG: Let's see -- the question says, "Which method is more useful for determining the age of a weasel: spreading mayonnaise on the lawn, or putting it in the Bass-O-Matic?"

    Your answer gives the definition of the word "mayonnaise" and appears to be copied directly from the textbook.

    LIS: Yes, I'm studying hard and spent a lot of time on these.

    PG: But what is the answer to the question?

    LIS: See, you said we should define vocabulary in our answers.

    PG: Yes, but that's just a start, and it should be in your own words, anyway. Can you tell me which is the better method for dating weasels?

    LIS: [reads answer silently with lips moving, then reads aloud] Mayonnaise is a widely used reagent that disperses weasel tissue evenly for dating.

    PG: And is that the most appropriate method for dating a weasel?

    PG: [reads answer silently with lips moving]


  2. OK, OK. I've been drinking a lot (not enough that I'd say, "alot" but close) but that's really damn funny. The bass-o-matic is great.

  3. Why, thank you. Have you been drinking enough to date a weasel?

    1. That would explain the claw marks on my back.

  4. I am marking exams and enjoyed this very much indeed.