Thursday, May 16, 2013
A Proffie's Garden of Worsts
Worst understanding of personal abilities: "Sure, I can make up eight weeks' work in two days! No problem!"
Worst awareness of the need to maintain a low center of gravity: Wore stilt-like shoes so tall and tippy that she couldn't walk down a busy staircase without stopping on each step, grasping the railing, and tentatively reaching her foot down over the abyss as if it were the Grand Canyon, resulting in near-gridlock all up and down the steps.
Worst blame-throwing: Complained to the provost that his experience in my class LAST semester traumatized him so much that it's my fault he flunked all his classes THIS semester.
Worst comprehension of why I'm here: Begged me to go over a paper with her because the Writing Center was closed, even though (1) she was not my student; (2) the paper was for a class outside my discipline; and (3) the Writing Center was closed because it was SPRING BREAK.
Worst student-generated metaphor: The pleasant aroma "spiraled like a staircase up her nose."
There must be more, yes?