If I were Mod

I don't read your page, but I found it today while researching my son's college. I cannot believe that professionals would act the way you do. You are a ridiculous lot. You have the cooshiest job there is, and you get to have job security knowing that there will always be high school students who want to better themselves in your colleges. And you shit on all of them with your ridiculous stories. Stories I say because they have to be made up. I got all three of my kids through high school, and I know they are not perfect, but to mock them and make fun of them like so many of you do is despicable.

You know I think there’s actually an attachment you can buy for your vacuum that will get that sand out of your vagina.  Also: I teach your kid and he’s a stupid asshole.  In addition:  Fuck you.  

My colleague gave me this address today because she thought it was a funny site. But I do not share her opinion. I'm disgusted by your lack of professionalism. So many people work so hard to make college a transformative experience and you seem to just throw that all away in order to be clever to each other. And when one of you says something awful about lazy students, there are more who jump into agree. I can't believe any organization or union would support what you're doing and I'd bet it's slanderous the kinds of articles you publish.

Unions?  BWAHAHAHAHA!  We don’t need no stinking unions, or “organizations” either.  We have wit.  And intelligence.  And Rabelasian senses of humor.  Fuck you.

(Actually on second thought it would be kind of nice to have a union.)  

My son is a freshmen, I hope not at your college, and when he comes home for breaks he always talks about how horrible professors are. I never got to go to college, so I take him at his word. If this is what represents how you think and what you are, I'm glad I went to work instead. My son was so excited to go to college, but he now knows that it's a joke. I say the biggest joke is your website.

1) He is a freshman at my college.

2) I am pretty horrible. 

3) You’re a total idiot to take your son at his word about anything. 

4) Remember that advice I gave to the first emailer about the vacuum for her sandy vagina?  You need the deluxe version.

5) Fuck you.  

I think your site is great. I would like to write some of my stories and send them in. I'm not a professor anymore, but I have some stories that would be pretty good stacked up alongside the others. I had a student once tell me that her roommate wrote her paper and that's why she got the F for plagiarizing. I said, "Do you want me to flunk your roommate, too?" And the roommate was right there and said, "I didn't do it. My brother helped me." Crazy stuff like that. How much do you pay? Do you pay by word or by entry?

It’s a hundred dollars a word. Write as much as you like about whatever you like. Only you have it backwards.  You pay CM.  Then, the RGM will split the pot with the four people who run this site, one of whom is me (I am Strelnikov and Bubba and in my most xanaxed moments Contingent Cassandra).  Give us a magnum opus. You can do it!  Mama needs a new Viking Range.