Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Pleas(e).

"Professor I really Have a hard time understanding the assignement please professor can I have until Friday to complete evrything I beg you professor to give me that chance i have 12 credits this summer so much work Understand me can we meet so we can talk I really need that chance please Professor"

The above missive arrived in my inbox the morning that the assignment was due. This is the third such plea I have received from this student. Three appointments to explain to her ; one meeting for which hir was 30 minutes late.

Hir has had many tragedies this term, including two relatives suddenly admitted to the ER the night before an assignment is due. But hir doesn't seem too upset in class, even smiling and giggling at hir book bag. No wait, that is a prohibited cell phone in the bag, so casually placed on the chair next to hir.

Summer school doesn't melt snowflakes.

- Tina from Timbuktu

18 comments:

  1. For me, requests for extensions must be received prior to the deadline, *and* accompanied by the work completed to date.

    There's a difference between "needing more time to complete" and "I haven't started yet".

    ReplyDelete
  2. Have you gently mentioned how hir lack of fundamental literacy might also be adding to hir unwieldy load? I mean, somebody's gotta say *something*...

    ReplyDelete
  3. I think the cutesy pronoun stuff has now officially jumped the shark.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think the colorful entertainment-industry-driven metaphor stuff has now officially "lost the essential qualities that initially defined its success and declined, ultimately, into irrelevance"

      Delete
    2. I think Arthur Fonzarelli is the bee's knees.

      Delete
    3. When will formal written English follow the common verbal usage of the gender-neutral third person plural in place of the gendered third person singular?

      It's not as if English hasn't simplified its pronouns before.

      Delete
    4. I will fight this trend 'til my dying day. I don't even know why, at this point. Still.

      Delete
    5. Oh, I cringe whenever I see it. And I mark students down for it, because it's not acceptable yet.

      But I'm also a former linguistics student and recognize that language doth change, forsooth.

      Delete
  4. I get similar emails from my online students, but also filled with religious appeals. "I pray to God you'll grant me another week...Jesus loves you" Etc. They read like a bad Nigerian email scam.

    It feels manipulative and creepy. But maybe it works on more religiously-minded faculty? I have no idea.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I will grant an extension in such situations--if the student can get Jesus himself to request it.

      Delete
  5. I got an email like this once. The student confronted me about my lack of response to said email and I explained to hir that I had deleted it, thinking it was some Nigerian scam.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Perhaps the ones using the religious entreaties should be reminded that lying is a sin.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes. My reply to you was so long that I turned it into a post of its own.

      Delete
  7. It's not really relevant, but I'm not a contributor so I'm going to brave posting this link. Maybe some duct tape could help: http://www.vancouversun.com/news/education/Vancouver+high+school+teacher+reprimanded+duct+taping/8547487/story.html

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Doctor BPD, you can always send email to collegemisery@gmail.com, and the moderator can post it for you.

      It's a worthy link; if more high school teachers did this, then we might have an easier time teaching college. I like that the teacher gave the kids a choice.

      Delete
  8. It's not really relevant, but I'm not a contributor so I'm going to brave posting this link. Maybe some duct tape could help: http://www.vancouversun.com/news/education/Vancouver+high+school+teacher+reprimanded+duct+taping/8547487/story.html

    ReplyDelete
  9. Lately, I seem to be suffering an avalanche of these myself.
    It seems oddly paradoxical for a student to be begging for extra time/help because "I do try hard for excellence to be my work."

    I know, according to the consumer model, it is inappropriate to speak ill of those who may be learning English as a second language (or never actually learned it as a first). However, these pleas(e) come after they have already received direct feedback, usually including a strong encouragement to seek out services from the New/Undergraduate/Transfer Student Assistance Completing Kollege center.

    But still, their success all comes down to my indulgence.

    ReplyDelete

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