Saturday, August 3, 2013

A Contest!

Wait! What can
I win?
In the spirit of trying something different, I wish to propose a contest.  Those of us of a certain age, and especially those of us of the hetro male persuasion, probably remember “Letters to Penthouse.”  They commonly began with “Dear Letters to Penthouse. I never believed the letters you printed were true until…”  The writer then went on to graphically describe some hetro male fantasy, often involving two women--neighbors, cheerleaders, stewardesses, etc.  It was slash fiction before the web.

This contest involves something similar, only with our own CM twist. Write a “Letter to CM” and describe some elaborate fantasy about some experience you had in academia.  Sorry, but it should be non-sexual but about something really good happening.

Send your story to DO NOT POST THEM HERE FIRST. Doing so will disqualify you.

The Fine Print:
Length: 500-1,000 words.
Format: Readable in Microsoft Word or in an email.
Deadline: 11:59 pm, Saturday, 10 August, EDT.
Plagiarism? Don’t.

More Fine Print:
Entries will be judged by me (MaM) as well as any mods that wish to help: Fab, RGM etc. All entries will be judged on the basis of originality, humor, wit, grammar, and anything else that strikes our fancy.  Entries may be submitted with only the writer’s online name. ONE ENTRY PER PERSON.

Prizes: The winner gets a personalized graphic designed by Fab or whoever does our blurry graphics.
The Runner-Up: An autographed blurry graphic of the Duck.
Second Runner-Up: A nice mention on the board.
The three winning entries will be posted on successive Fridays, beginning August 16 with the second runner-up.

Judges’ decisions are final. Deal with it.

One final note. Be creative!  We all fantasize about studious polite students, supportive Deans, extra pay, generous budgets, etc.  Find something new to say!  Simple revenge fantasies are clich├ęd and will be disregarded.

This is an experiment. So if it works, great! Maybe we'll do it again. If it doesn't work, oh, well, we tried. 


  1. My fantasy is to ride off into the sunset while Cal plays a tune and the rest of the CM cast members dance and drink.

  2. "Dear CM Forum:
    I was a student at a small Midwestern Liberal Arts College, and I thought your tales of misery were made up. Until I graduated and started working at a major R1 in the South, and suddenly misery came my way..."

  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

  4. My fantasy is that I'll never be asked to be a CM mod.

  5. You took away all my ideas in your rules. :-(

  6. My fantasy comes true every day when I wake up in the state of Texas. And when I go out and get in the Trans Am. And when Foghat comes over the speakers.

    And when Mrs. Yaro brings me lunch.

    1. This is, I think, my favorite comment ever on the site.

      The cool thing is that Yaro would chuckle.

      How are you, Walt, you crazzy mofu? I have not talked to you in many moons.

      Did you see that Sound City doc the kid from Nirvana made? I think you'd really like it.

  7. No elaborate revenge fantasies? Dang.


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