|"I'm Stu. I need|
so much help."
2) Stupid Stu and his posse of brain-dead zombies would like more specific guidance on what to read each week – because apparently, “Ch 2 excluding pages 118-132” is not specific enough.
3) Slow Sally and her silly sisters asked more feedback on the class quizzes last semester. But, this semester, Dimwit Dave and his Dumbass Sidekicks are annoyed by the 5 minutes “wasted” on discussing the quiz answers at the end of class, because that’s five minutes more time spent in class. Class rep proposes a solution: can you post the quiz answers before the class (and hence before they take the quiz). Um, sure. Maybe I should post the exam answers before you take the exam too? Now THAT should maximize my teaching evaluation scores!!!!
4) The music videos played in our mid-class break (classes are 2 hours long so we have to give them a 10 minute break in between because the poor dears can’t be expected to sit for more than 50 minutes at a stretch) are great but how come I, Dream-Killer, get to choose the music video of the week, and not the students? Class rep solution: I should institute a formal poll on their Facebook page each week so that they can vote on the song they want to hear the next day. Oh wait, I’m not allowed on their Facebook page. My solution: Can we use the customized class social network which I AM part of? Class rep solution: “No we cant be bothered, we prefer Facebook. But you have to do a poll. Can each student just email you our weekly requests?” Oh sure, I guess I got three degrees so I can be your radio dj and play music you like while you check your Facebook.
5) Irritating Irma wants more information about the exam. Honey I’ve already told you what pages to read and what to not read to prepare for the Multiple Choice section, and the top ten concepts that are likely to be the subject of the two essay questions. Obviously, what you want is the actual questions ahead of time. Oh wait, I tried that with my Gradflakes last year by giving them 5 potential questions, of which 3 would be on the exam. They responded with… no, not gratitude. They responded by asking for model answers for each of the 5 questions. You know, so they could memorize, uh I mean prepare appropriately for the exam.
Who’s going to tell the Class Reps the truth? The University only has this Class Rep system and the feedback meetings so that they can look like they/we care about what the students think. The truth is we don’t care what you think, we don’t care what your classmates think, and we ain’t gonna change a thing.