Dang it all, if this does not take helicopter parenting to a whole 'nother level!
Parents are hiring consultants---and paying them, at least around here, $50.00 dollars an hour. To do what?
Wait for it..... Help them register for their classes!
Dang it all if I did not have some crazy woman from a business with a name similar to this: "WeLoveSnowflakesRUs.com" call and call and call for her "client." I had no idea what this meant, or why she called me eight times between Friday and Monday to schedule an advising session for her snowflake....er....client, who had no idea which courses for which to register.
I was not on contract yet, and while I hate to be a bitch....well, actually I love to be a bitch. But hell, I was gonna be there anyway, what with this Acting Chair crap, and while advising is not strictly an Acting Chair duty, I figured, what the hell. I wanted to see what this was about.
I sent her an e-mail, half ironic, half sincere, inquiring whether her "client" would require special assistance in any way, and whether she would be accompanying him to his advising appointment. I received a reply back, which might have been huffy, assuring me her client was "a very smart gentleman" who just needed help navigating through the very confusing labyrinth of the registration process.
So, all sarcasm aside, I get it. It's a difficult process. But really? $50.00 an hour? We have a whole academic advising center where people are paid to help students through.....we have a whole separate counseling center where they do the same thing! And of course, students can and do, all on their own, e-mail their assigned faculty advisor. (I was not this particular student's faculty advisor, for what that is worth.) Not to mention the fact that we have an 'effin STUDENT HANDBOOK, for those who can read, which describes in detail the whole process.
See, I am old. My hard working immigrant parents did not know anything about the academic process. They proudly dropped me off at school and assumed I'd graduate in four years, as they had been promised by someone....or maybe they just assumed. I remember vividly being in the huge gymnasium that first fall semester with all the other freshman, a handbook in one hand, a course schedule in the other, and being told to look to my left, then look to my right-----only one of us, they said, of the three would survive this whole process by the end of four years.
Things sure have changed.
Anyway. The "client"----let's call him "Huge Piles of Help Harry"----never showed up for his appointment.
I received a note of apology from his agent.
Well now I know what I could do with my PhD if I ever return to N America without other job prospects. Bet the degree could even let me charge double.
ReplyDeleteThis is really interesting. The apology suggests that the consultants understand who they are working with (snotflakes) and the expectations of professional behavior that faculty have. My students and their parents have never sent me an apology if they missed an advising appointment.
ReplyDeleteI understand that parents perceive the need for this service. Your school's advising center, the advisors and any other assistance are funded by the school so they represent the needs of the school (keeping class size small, limiting number of underfilled class sections, etc). The consultant represents the needs of the student. It's not as if advisors are against their advisees, it's just that they have other priorities.
Now that I think about it, this consultant job would be difficult since faculty could hide behind FERPA laws and tell the consultant to take a hike.
DeleteUntil they produce a FERPA waiver, which would be the second sheet of paper the student would sign after the "contract."
DeleteTrue, but that form gets turned into the Registrar, not me. After they tell me that the signed form exists, I would have to contact the Registrar. Sure, the Registrar could tell me by email that the form is signed but I like to see the real deal. They scan and send it to me. Have you ever noticed how forms get lost when they sit on your desk? Me too. I can blow them off for several weeks. By then, it's too late to register. Problem solved.
DeleteI've certainly heard of college *admissions* consultants (and suspect they can play a useful part in negotiating what is often an emotionally-fraught process, though of course they can also be far *too* involved, and/or ramp up the fraughtness in the name of getting clients; the people I know who've used them -- yes, I do know a few -- did so for a session or two, looking for expertise about the current admissions landscape, a fresh perspective, and/or a neutral third party to reconcile parent-child conflicts). But no, I've never heard of a registration assistant, nor do I think one is likely to pop up anytime soon at my particular state u (since we're relatively affordable, and not particularly prestigious, we're blessedly free of snowflakes whose parents cope with their children's deficits by throwing money at the problem). If I were to receive a communication from such an entity, my answer would be the same as to the individual 'flakes (and non-flaky students as well): yes, seats in my required course are tight this semester (again!); unfortunately, there are a number of students with complicated schedules, a need to graduate *this semester*, etc., etc.; therefore, I'm simply going to let the registration/waitlist process work as designed. I used to do a few overrides, on the theory that that prevented the hassles associated with late adds, and I'll listen to the scuttlebut later this week and decide whether to do so again, but honestly, our uni has been doing such a good job lately of packing them in like sardines, including cutting the add/drop period by half, that adding and dropping has been considerably reduced (well, except in online classes; there they seem to come and go like crazy as long as they can -- or maybe it's just my class that looks intimidating).
ReplyDeleteI actually work in a very low income area, and most of my students could never pay such fees, which makes it a little more humorous. Because this student is obviously a richie flake from one the the neighborhing VERY wealthy towns, who somehow landed at our CC.
DeleteHmm. . .any chance he's attended college before, elsewhere, without much success, and his parents are desperate to get him through this time? And/or that there will be dire consequences (e.g. reinstatement of a suspended jail term) if he flunks out (again)? Methinks there might be a back story here.
DeleteHmm. . .any chance he's attended college before, elsewhere, without much success, and his parents are desperate to get him through this time? And/or that there will be dire consequences (e.g. reinstatement of a suspended jail term) if he flunks out (again)? Methinks there might be a back story here.
DeleteThey also said no one would ever pay for water because it's free from a faucet or a drinking fountain.
ReplyDelete