Tuesday, August 13, 2013
Pro-tips for the new semester from Dr. Amelia.
1. You know that syllabus I took the time to send you a couple of weeks ago, so you'd know that we have out-of-class obligations? Read it. Don't show up the second week of school and tell me you have an important sorority obligation that will keep you from going to see the speaker we've arranged for all sections of BW 257 on Thursday night. I won't be impressed.
2. Don't e-mail me and ask if you really have to buy the books. You do.
3. Don't e-mail me at 1 a.m. with a question about the paper due at 8 and expect my lack of response to automatically give you an extension. I'm kind of bitchy about those things.
4. Your phone/tablet/phablet has an airplane mode option - practice switching that on now. I've never even met you, but I can tell you already that you don't have the self-discipline to ignore buzzing or beeping in your pocket or bag. And nothing ticks me off faster than your answering texts in my class.
5. Our basketweaving department has an attendance policy, so you get a few absences that don't count against you. Be smart - if you have alcohol flu 3 times the first month of school, you will be dragging your sorry self out of your bed when you have the real flu in December. And you will infect others. I won't be impressed.
6. Never offer to have your mommy call me. Ever. Will I be impressed? No.
7. Don't bring in cafeteria food to eat in class. I know that some of you have classes scheduled right through the lunch block (funny, so do I), so if, when class starts, you are still chewing that last bite of the sandwich you made yourself to eat on the walk over, I'll pretend I don't see. I WILL see the fried shrimp. Then I will see you eat it in the hall.
8. I know class meets early. This does not turn pajama bottoms into pants. You are in college now, so I can tell you...that kind of magic is not real.
9. I manage to commute to campus, find a parking space and arrive at class on time. So can you. I believe in you.
10. If you are having some kind of legitimate problem, tell me early and in the minimum detail needed. "I'm having surgery on the 27th, and will miss a quiz" is plenty of detail. I'm bitchy, but not an actual monster, so if you tell me this on the 5th, I will work with you.